Sarge: May I introduce, our new Light-Reconnaissance vehicle. It has 4-inch Armor Plating; M.A.G Bumper Suspension; a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the 'Warthog'.Simmons: Why 'Warthog,' Sir?Sarge: Because 'M12 LRV' is too hard to say in conversation, son.Grif: No, but, why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...Sarge: Say that again?Grif: I think it looks more like a Puma.Sarge: What in Sam Hell is a 'Puma'?Simmons: Uhh, you mean like the shoe company?Grif: No. Like a Puma. It's a big cat, it's like a lion.Sarge: You're making that up.Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal.Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.Simmons: Yes sir!Sarge: Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?Grif: A walrus.Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?! So unless anybody has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with, the 'Warthog'. How about it Grif?Grif: No sir. No more suggestions.Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout Big Foot?Grif: It's okay.Sarge: Unicorn?Grif: No really. Uh.. I'm cool.Sarge: Sasquatch?Simmons: Leprechaun?Grif: Hey, he doesn't need any help man.Sarge: Pheonix.Grif: *sigh* (muttering) Christ.Sarge: Hey Simmons! What's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.Simmons: Uh, That would be the Chupacabra sir.Sarge: Hey Grif! Chupathingy, how 'bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
The best cure for "wife ack" is to deploy chaff: $...$$....$....$$$.....$ .....$$$.....$ ....$$
Commander: "Why would anybody want to know the glide-angle of an M8?"Driver: "Just curious, Sir."
"Recalculating...."
Landing is overrated.
