Lexophiles.
You can tune a piano . . . but you can't tuna fish
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, . . . U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky
ground.
The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. . . . They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: . . . The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a
rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? .. . . He's
all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone . . . it is too tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts, in feudalism, . . . it's your Count
that votes.
When a clock is hungry . . . it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . .. . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . .. which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture . . . a jab well done.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . then it hit me.
Time flies like an arrow . . . Fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes . . . inverse.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France . .. . would result in Linoleum Blown
apart.
He often broke into song . . . because he couldn't find the key.
A lot of money is tainted . . . 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison . . . was a small medium at
large.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a . . . knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are . . . subordinate clauses.
Marathon runners with bad footwear . . . suffer the agony of defeat.
An optometrist fell into a grinding machine . . .. and made a spectacle of
himself.
