Step aside for an expert, Gentlemen.
Having dispatched my latest prey, I suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to land!
I called on a nearby RAF Typhoon for immediate support.
The loss of my excess parts expedited my approach, but I was caught of guard by the sudden gain of speed. I needed to burn it off, and burn it off now. Despite the lack of elevators, I pulled the wheel with all my might! It sent the underside of my plane out in front! The increased drag helped to retard my excess speed.
BUT right then a barn jumped outta nowhere! With no time to spare I increased power on my functional starboard engine, and managed to only tap my right boom stump on the poor farmers roof.
It became evident that the farmer had recently plowed his field. This made it much too rough for a simple belly landing... I needed a softer landing on account of my back problems. I noticed a hedgerow off my 1 o'clock and began maneuvering for that fantastic foliage.
At this point the I was confident that a landing would be possible. I set her down making sure that the left wing could be safely removed.
The same hedgerow that saved me earlier was now about seek it's revenge on me. Luckily, I was reminded of one of Guppy's famous landings. He actually found a gap in the hedgerow and safely maneuvered through it! I heeded this superb advice and replicated the maneuver.
Not on my watch bush!
I was home free! Or was I... I was a sitting duck out on the ground. I needed a concealed parking spot, and I needed it now. Once again that valiant hedgerow offered it's services, this time in the form of shelter. I parked right inside that hedgerow, while at the same time making sure that my flames didn't hurt its leaves.
In conclusion, I like to think that this a fairly successful landing. Even if at no time was I inverted, nor did my port engine ever caught fire.
