BigR: "Ask-a-Ninja help desk. Please state your problem."
Caller: My PC won't boot up.
BigR: There are many ways to kill a man silently, my favorite is deprivation of oxygen.
Caller: It's plugged in but the light doesn't come on and it doesn't make any noise.
BigR: Improvised weapons can be a real lifesaver, the key is to look beyond the normal function of everyday objects.
Caller: My desk lamp isn't working either. Do you think I need a new virus program?
BigR: I once used a scorpion to "retire" a rogue CIA agent. Unfortunately the scorpion died after biting him.
