Friday Funny

[ebfd11]

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they stand closer to the kitchen sink.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
You hit her.


Wanna hear a funny joke?
Women's rights.

What do you do when you see a women with one gunshot wound and out of the kitchen?
RELOAD.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
5 drinks!!


LawnDart

[Plawranc]

God said unto Adam.

"Adam, I shall make you the greatest companion you could ever have. They would be attractive, enthusastic, supportive, fulfill your every desire, love you, live with you, fight for you and cry for you. They would be the perfect match to you for eternity. But it will cost you"

Adam was gobsmacked... "What mighty lord shall it cost"

"Adam my son.. It shall cost you 3 ribs, an ankle, half your spinal cord and your respitory system"

Adam paused..... "What can I get for a Rib?"