Religious humor

[Maverick]

Reverend Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. One day they were seen pounding a sign into the ground, that said:
DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT
NOW BAFOR IT'S  TOO LATE!
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave me alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
 
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.  Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, Bridge Out?"

[Tupac]

 

[USRanger]

Heeheehee good stuff

[Tec]

Did ya hear aboot the time Sven and Ole went hunting?  Ole accidentally shot old Sven and being a good friend rushed him to the hospital.  They took him into the emergency room and Ole waited a few minutes and the doctor comes out.  "Well Ole" he says, "I think we could have saved him if you hadn't gutted him."

[caldera]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66Sw8ebD9wU

"Da bridge is owwwwwwt!"   

[prowl3r]

pastor wilams had a guest preacher come to the church rev stevens. the rev. asks the pastor to have all the most devoted memgers sit in the front row. well ill ask mother greene to sit in front and well get the amens rollin through the congrigation.

sunday mornin comes and the rev and pastor are sittin on the stage, when a VERY attractive woman comes in and sits in front wearing a very short skirt. when she crosser legs rev stevens sees that she isnt wearing any panties. he turns to the pastor and asks "is that mother green?" the pastor says "no it looks good n pink to me"

[Pigslilspaz]

pastor wilams had a guest preacher come to the church rev stevens. the rev. asks the pastor to have all the most devoted memgers sit in the front row. well ill ask mother greene to sit in front and well get the amens rollin through the congrigation.

sunday mornin comes and the rev and pastor are sittin on the stage, when a VERY attractive woman comes in and sits in front wearing a very short skirt. when she crosser legs rev stevens sees that she isnt wearing any panties. he turns to the pastor and asks "is that mother green?" the pastor says "no it looks good n pink to me"

[clerick]

One day a Pastor is giving a sermon and a man kept interrupting him.  Each time the man would finish with "thus sayeth the Lord!"  The Pastor tolerated the man for a bit, but after a few times the man started saying things the pastor knew weren't in the Bible.  So, the next time the man interrupted, the Pastor called him out, "The Lord never said that!" The man glared back, "I did too!"

[ink]

Reverend Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. One day they were seen pounding a sign into the ground, that said:
DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT
NOW BAFOR IT'S  TOO LATE!
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave me alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
 
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.  Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, Bridge Out?"

  hilarious

[gyrene81]

         couple of really funny jokes...i'll have to add them to my stash.


here's one for ya, oldie but goodie...


A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.

Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

[F22RaptorDude]

        couple of really funny jokes...i'll have to add them to my stash.


here's one for ya, oldie but goodie...


A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.

Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

[MaSonZ]

 

[F22RaptorDude]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66Sw8ebD9wU

"Da bridge is owwwwwwt!"   

Omg I just saw that movie a few days ago, freakin epic when she smashes the phone on his head 

[caldera]

Omg I just saw that movie a few days ago, freakin epic when she smashes the phone on his head 

I thought her body was epic. 

[Maverick]

I thought her body was epic. 

Yep now it is used to hawk laxative yogurt.