Author Topic: Dear Diary  (Read 868 times)

Offline oakranger

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Dear Diary
« on: July 23, 2011, 11:24:42 PM »
Dear Diary,

 

Just moved to Kansas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and toejams. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise bellybutton cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my bellybutton was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and bellybutton . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do toejam for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking   Kansas .. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
Oaktree

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Offline Devil 505

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2011, 11:33:38 PM »
Hot enough for ya?  :devil
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Offline Jayhawk

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2011, 12:39:00 AM »
Spent yesterday out on the river...



Damn you Kansas.
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Offline B-17

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2011, 02:09:36 AM »
And this...this is why I live in Toronto. Although we had record breaking temperatures the other day... :( Wait... is this from last year? Because some of the entries are dated August...

Offline F22RaptorDude

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2011, 10:37:49 AM »
Spent yesterday out on the river...

(Image removed from quote.)

Damn you Kansas.
Tough Break man, I havn't gotten sun burnt since I was 12 at Lake Lanier, I'm not one to go outside often, and when I do its high spf sun block every 15 mins  :rofl Being tan doesn't appeal to me.
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Offline Jayhawk

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2011, 10:39:35 AM »
Wait... is this from last year? Because some of the entries are dated August...

Dude... it's a joke.

I'm not one to go outside often

reeeeeallllly.
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Offline F22RaptorDude

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2011, 10:43:45 AM »
Let me rephrase, I only go out at night due to heat now a days, 14 and under I couldn't stand being inside.
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Offline Wayout

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2011, 10:49:25 AM »
 :lol :lol :lol :rofl
  For most people the sky is the limit.  For a pilot the sky is home.

Offline Golfer

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2011, 11:04:40 AM »

Offline Tupac

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2011, 01:52:12 PM »
"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline SKColt

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2011, 06:09:03 PM »
Oakranger....I know of what you speak:) Been in Kansas almost 6 years now  :old:

Offline jimson

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2011, 09:57:16 AM »
LOL, try Arizona.

You folks are just as hot or hotter than we are right now, but our heatwave lasts from May to late October.

Of course we have a dry heat, in May and Jun anyway.

Offline oakranger

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2011, 11:10:55 AM »
LOL, try Arizona.

You folks are just as hot or hotter than we are right now, but our heatwave lasts from May to late October.

Of course we have a dry heat, in May and Jun anyway.

But we have the humidity on top of the heat wave. AC cannot do the job as efficient as swap coolers can.
Oaktree

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Offline Jayhawk

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2011, 01:18:57 PM »
I had a friend from Texas explain this to me in a way I like, "Kansas really gets boned".  Basically his point was down South it gets hot, but the winters aren't bad at all.  Up north, sure it gets cold, but the summers are beautiful.  Kansas might not hold steady at the extremes you see in Arizona or Wisconsin but a few weeks hanging around 100 or a few weeks hanging around 0 is not that uncommon at all.
LOOK EVERYBODY!  I GOT MY NAME IN LIGHTS!

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Offline Babalonian

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Re: Dear Diary
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2011, 03:03:42 PM »
 :neener:



 :bolt:
-Babalon
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Wow, you guys need help.