Did you hear about the blonde that...

[68ZooM]

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.



Edit... fixed
thanks for the typo Mensa

[mensa180]

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

125/24 ...

[gyrene81]

125/24 ...

fire department arrived on the 3rd day...neighbors complained. you blonde?

[Dichotomy]

Mating call of the blonde


'I'm getting sooo wasted'

[caldera]

What do you call 10 blondes scuba diving?   An air pocket. 

[Tigger29]

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?  Gifted

What do you call a gifted blonde with three brain cells?  Pregnant

Why don't blondes make kool-aid?  They can't figure out how to get two quarts of water into that little packet

Why do blondes take so long to wash their hair?  Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat. . .

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice for hours?  It said "concentrate"

How did the blonde pilot crash the helicopter?  She got cold and turned off the fan.

How do you know if a blonde has been typing on your computer?  White-out all over the screen.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?  She kept throwing out the W's.

There was a blonde driving down the road past a corn field.  She sees another blonde in a rowboat in the middle of the cornfield rowing like crazy and going nowhere!  Being upset and extremely furious she pulls the car over and gets out.  She yells at the other blonde, "You know that it is blondes like you that give all of us blondes a bad reputation!!!  And if I knew how to swim I'd come beat the heck out of you!"

So this guy sees a good looking blonde sitting at the bar watching a suicidal man about to jump from a building on the six o-clock news.  Being clever he uses this as an opportunity to strike up a conversation with her, "I'll bet you a hundred dollars that he jumps!"  The blonde looks at him and says "You're on!"  Shortly afterwards the man jumps to his death.  The blonde starts to hand over a hundred dollar bill and the guy says "No I can't take your money.  I have to admit that I saw the guy jump on the five o'clock news."  The blonde says "Well I did too but I didn't think that idiot would do it again!"

What did the blonde mother tell her blonde daughter when she went out on her first date?  "If you're not in bed by twelve come home."

[gyrene81]

blonde and a brunette walking down the street. they pass a flower shop. brunette looks inside and says "oh hell, there's my boyfriend and he's buying flowers". blonde says "what's wrong with your boyfriend buying you flowers?" brunette says, "oh nothing really, but every time he does i have to spend the next 3 days on my back with my legs in the air." blonde says, "don't you own a flower vase?"

[bagrat]

A  blonde walks into an appliance store and asks the clerk for the price of a tv, the clerk responds "sorry we don't do business with blondes". She leaves to get a red wig and returns to the store to ask again, the clerk gives her the same response. She leaves dyes her hair and put's on sunglasses and returns to the store once more. "sir I would like to purchase this tv", the clerk says "ma'am we don't do business with blondes". She asks him "how can you tell Im a blonde?, I died my hair, put on glasses, I changed my whole look!" The clerk responds "because that's a microwave"