INSTALLING A HUSBAND

[68ZooM]

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and  Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NASCAR 6.0, NFL 5.1 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while  Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.  If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. < B>

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.  These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

[SEraider]

I moved up to Husband 1.2.   

New features are ............................ <system error> 

[M0nkey_Man]

 

[Tank-Ace]

Lol, try downloading the SayWhatYouMean v5.1.3 program, all Boyfriend and Husband versions are unable to read encrypted files. Its a one-way program that converts hidden/secondary meanings and subtle nuances to standard English. Boyfriend and Husband are already equiped with this program, but as noted, it only works one way, neither can read those file types effectivly. And please be aware that since all vocal output from Boyfriend and Husband are in standard English. Trying to put that output data in through the "Whats he REALLY saying?" application will only distort them away from their intended meaning.

Also, please note that I-SayI'mFine-ButI'mActuallyPissed v1.0-current contains an encrypted file, titled "Why I'm Pissed.wtf", and upon detection of the hidden file, all Boyfriend and Husband versions become slow to respond, and are unable to run any new programs or applications, as all available system resources are devoted to trying to read the "Why I'm Pissed.wtf" file.

[SEraider]

Lol, try downloading the SayWhatYouMean v5.1.3 program, all Boyfriend and Husband versions are unable to read encrypted files. Its a one-way program that converts hidden/secondary meanings and subtle nuances to standard English. Boyfriend and Husband are already equiped with this program, but as noted, it only works one way, neither can read those file types effectivly. And please be aware that since all vocal output from Boyfriend and Husband are in standard English. Trying to put that output data in through the "Whats he REALLY saying?" application will only distort them away from their intended meaning.

Also, please note that I-SayI'mFine-ButI'mActuallyPissed v1.0-current contains an encrypted file, titled "Why I'm Pissed.wtf", and upon detection of the hidden file, all Boyfriend and Husband versions become slow to respond, and are unable to run any new programs or applications, as all available system resources are devoted to trying to read the "Why I'm Pissed.wtf" file.

silenttreatment v1.1 

[guncrasher]

cant uninstall drunkgirlfriendallthetime v28.3  tried leavingher 48.6 but always found a way to come back. I guess I need kickyourownazz.av to fix it.  anybody know where I can find that av?


semp

[Mar]

My system is hardwired to recognize those programs such as I-SayI'mFine-ButI'mActuallyPissed and silenttreatment as viruses and immediately eliminate them. If removing the viruses is not possible, it automatically terminates connection with the infected system. This system will not waste resources by attempting to compute B.S.

Oh and semp, since you're unable to use the program leavingher to terminate connection, I've got some wire cutters handy that you could borrow...

[Tank-Ace]

If the connection is what I susspect it is, the 'cable' thats keeping him connected is probably large enough to nessecetate a pair of bolt cutters (however since the cable thickness varies between systems, you might get away with using wire cutters).

[4deck]

 

[JimmyC]

do not run doesmybumlookgoodbiginthis.ex e

malware

[B-17]

Occasionally, Husband or Boyfriend OS will try to run the ButTheGameIsOn 532,892,174,901,890.9 program.
This is classified as excuse-ware
When faced with this, there are two possible anti-excuseware programs available, one slightly more drastic than the other.

CallElectrician 1.0 is now available, however as it is a beta version, there are some flaws; namely, the programs Kitchen 2.0, Computer 2.0, and Appliances 2.1 are unable to be run while this program resets the faulty OS, because of high power consumption.

The alternate option is to try BoxOffice 2.5, and try to obtain the correct passwords to ButTheGameIsOn 532,892,174,901,890.9-- if he's going to watch the game, may as well do it with you, right??

[guncrasher]

i just wish there was a mute button and a pause button available on all os.  I heard there's a gspot.exe that when activated causes os to behave normally for several days but I think that is just a theory as it's never been proven.


semp