Author Topic: Life explained  (Read 334 times)

Offline Frodo

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Life explained
« on: November 22, 2011, 08:09:27 AM »
Thank you Vilkas, this made me laugh.  :D



On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.  For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.  How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.  For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
 
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?  That's a pretty long time to perform.  How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.  For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.  How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years?  Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God.  "You asked for it.."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family..  For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.


JG11 

TEAMWORK IS ESSENTIAL....IT GIVES THE ENEMY SOMEONE ELSE TO SHOOT AT.

Offline branch37

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2011, 08:43:49 AM »
 :rofl  :aok

CMDR Branch37
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Offline gyrene81

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2011, 10:09:58 AM »
 :rofl :lol  :rofl  :lol  oldie but goody...  :aok
jarhed  
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

Offline oakranger

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2011, 10:14:35 AM »
 :rofl
Oaktree

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Offline Maverick

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2011, 10:20:57 AM »
AARF WOOF! I been barking for many years. That's one of the traits of the "sheep dog" on guard duty watching over the sheep.

What can I say, I started early.  :old: :neener:
« Last Edit: November 22, 2011, 10:24:15 AM by Maverick »
DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
Author Unknown

Offline morfiend

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2011, 03:41:54 PM »
Frodo, you might be sitting on the porch but your too old to bark anymore! :aok








   :salute

Offline mthrockmor

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2011, 03:46:30 PM »
 :old:

The truth hath been spoken!

What can be both fun and sad is to talk with old timers and get a sense for their life. Lessons to learn.

Boo
No poor dumb bastard wins a war by dying for his country, he wins by making the other poor, dumb, bastard die for his.
George "Blood n Guts" Patton

Offline Frodo

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Re: Life explained
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2011, 06:17:44 PM »
Frodo, you might be sitting on the porch but your too old to bark anymore! :aok








   :salute

 :noid


JG11 

TEAMWORK IS ESSENTIAL....IT GIVES THE ENEMY SOMEONE ELSE TO SHOOT AT.