here's tonight's.
guy pulls up in a brand new beemer 7 series. has a nail in his tire. i've got the shop lights out, as i'm up here finishing up paperwork, and about to leave. he comes in, and asks me if i can plug his tire. i tell him i can in the morning, but i've been closed since 530, everything's turned off, and everything's locked up.
know what he says? i'm a cop, can ya help me out?

most cops i respect, and if he'd have come even just 30 minutes early, i'd have been able to help him out.......but c'mon.......