The AVA Chronicles - The Case of the Lawnmowers

[Plawranc]

A curious calm settled over the AVA, nothing stirred save the sticks of a few noobs coming to grips with the game and its extreme learning curve. Normally this would raise ridicule in the great halls of the Main Arenas where most players dwelled... alas no... here there was so much aerial incompetence that getting off the ground and remaining airworthy was an event of great occasion... it is said that many AVA pilots demanded Cake at the very onset of their first successful flight... The Arena Cook however... was normally unconcious after being knocked out for the safety of the entire arena population.

However a curious wave of new ideas was taking shape... the Battle of Britain set up held many months ago, in which we learnt of our characters and their foibles... had long since departed... instead there took shape a new era... an old era.... older than Oldman era.... an era so old that it was considered obsolete by many... (except oldman who said that the aircraft here flew at much more his pace). No... here were the flying lawnmowers... and their 80 MPH speed limits... their old fangled two wings... the wires in which CAP decided to hang his dirty underwear from.. and of course, the fixed undercarriages which was an ironic term since the entire population of the arena was more in a habit of calling them BROKEN undercarriages... (hence why CAP has so much dirty underwear)

Nevertheless, a quiet airbase on the simulated Western Front (16-18), was the scene of much activity... of course this was to scale and as any activity in here at all was sizable... this was positively gigantic.

[Plawranc]

"What do you mean you suffered speed sickness.... these things go the speed of a hobo walking FLAT OUT" said Pacman incredulously "I mean, Flossy can out run CAP .... WHILE HE IS IN HIS CAMEL... I mean seriously it would be more hazardous getting out and WALKING"

"Hey its not healthy, these Fokkers fly damn fast, so fast that I almost lost a filling" replied Jaeger tenuously "Besides, I don't see you having much success, last sortie you got really friendly with a hedge so I'm told.... after losing your wings" "I DID NOT LOSE THEM, PUMA STOLE THEM WHILE I WAS HAVING A PEE IN SAID HEDGE" "Now thats a bigger pile of bull.." "NO ITS NOT, IT WAS A SMALL PILE"

"Gentleman please.." chimed in Tequila Chaser now taking an interest "we are not here to argue, we are here to discuss various methods of striking the enemy, not have petty domestic squabbles" "Oh and how do you suppose we do that boss" replied Pacman irritated "I will lean out and yell nasty words, we dont have bombs, unless you count Shifty's fart in the O'Club last week, and even then thats pushing it" "it is historically accurate though, mustard and prostghene gas were both used, Shifty's quite literally shIIts on both of them" smiled Dicho.

At that moment a Camel whizzed low over the sheds and tore all control surfaces off as it cartwheeled into the ground. Moments later a dishevelled figure emerged from the wreckage scratching his head

"Looks like crazy just got here" said Pacman in an exasperated tone... however the interests of the group were about to be seized as a second camel landed and taxiid up to the sheds where the pilots were standing. Another figure hopped out and then kicked the tire. He stood out right away, his flying suit was not leather... it was rather a different type of fabric, almost synthetic... whatever it was, it was a non animal product .

He needed no intro, as his noseart gave it away reading "Bacon is Murder..." with a picture of a pig holding a cleaver.

"hey bustr"

[Shifty]

 Just as dumb as the first batch.  Is mommy telling you you're a writer or something? Seriously these things suck.

[captain1ma]

NICE!

[waystin2]

"Bacon is Murder..." with a picture of a pig holding a cleaver.

I like it!

[Nathan60]

Just as dumb as the first batch.  Is mommy telling you you're a writer or something? Seriously these things suck.

Stop being a d-bag, if ya  dont like  it  dont  read it and  keep your  opinions to yourself  if  you're going to get personal about things.

[tmetal]

Enjoyed the previous ones and was starting to wonder if there was going to be more. Keep em coming. 

[Shifty]

Stop being a d-bag, if ya  dont like  it  dont  read it and  keep your  opinions to yourself  if  you're going to get personal about things.

Don't want my opinion, don't put my name in it. Pretty simple rule of thumb really. Of course since your first reaction is to call somebody D-bag you're not really qualified to scold anybody on getting personal.. Are you?

[Nathan60]

first reaction is to call somebody D-bag you're not really qualified to scold anybody on getting personal.. Are you?

No  I am EXACTLY the one  who  needs to call you out  if  I think your  being   a  love muffin then your really  being a love muffin, if you take umbrage what was  said  about "Shifty" dropping bombs in the o'club you really need to toughen up little lady, that or  you're just trolling  which is  itself is a  dbag act thus  making you a d-bag

[Nathan60]

Shifty please complete and submit  along with your request that nobody ever make  up obvious fiction about "Shifty" ever again

[Shifty]

No you're not. Just because you think you are means nothing in fact your quote...

No  I am EXACTLY the one  who  needs to call you out  if  I think your  being   a  love muffin then your really  being a love muffin, if you take umbrage what was  said  about "Shifty" dropping bombs in the o'club you really need to toughen up little lady, that or  you're just trolling  which is  itself is a  dbag act thus  making you a d-bag

Is proof positive that you're emotionally in over your head. Again you're the one name calling and getting personal. I was mentioned and I have the right to be give my view on the content. It doesn't matter if you like it or not and it doesn't matter what you think. Like I said if you don't want my opinion don't mention me in the text. If you can't grasp that maybe you should stay out of it, because it all seems to be over your head.

[Plawranc]

No, my mom is dead, she can't tell me Im a writer.

And yes, I am, funnily enough I am a literary student at the University of Adelaide Senior College. But I like writing these cheap short stories because it raises a cheap laugh and gives the members of this board something to read.

If you want intelligent literature or amazing fiction perhaps read a published author. Or in fact, go do something useful and write yourself, perhaps you may be a better critic of fiction or even a journalist. 

Im an Australian, I make fun of everyone, and as you read above, myself as well. If you can't laugh. Your in the wrong game and the wrong environment.

Oh and if you don't wanna be in it? Tough, because your a character HERE. Its not your real name so its no legal issue, and if you can't take getting made fun of? then you don't have many stones to throw in the immaturity department.

With kind regards...
Pacman

[TequilaChaser]

heh.......  guess I was spotted in the AvsA recently...........didn't think anyone noticed <grin>



<S>

TC

[Nathan60]

No you're not. Just because you think you are means nothing in fact your quote... Is proof positive that you're emotionally in over your head. Again you're the one name calling and getting personal. I was mentioned and I have the right to be give my view on the content. It doesn't matter if you like it or not and it doesn't matter what you think. Like I said if you don't want my opinion don't mention me in the text. If you can't grasp that maybe you should stay out of it, because it all seems to be over your head.

I have  no  emotional attachment to the story whatsoever  but  your reply to it  was completely and utterly emo, and over the  top. A cartoon pilot in  a  fictional story  in a  game  gets you hot and bothered enough be a jack hole  and   say somthing like you did  instead of  simply sayg "I dont liek thislease edit me out"  tells me that puilling your  tail will be  easy and  well worth the time  as you are a complete jackhole and  I can make that  judgment  because I am a  jackhole aswell and as such I am  exactly the  person that needs to call you out when you  go  above the bar  in you jackholery. That or your  a troll and  dont  like  being calle dout  for  being such a jackhole  becaus etrolling is  jackholery at its  finest.

[Shifty]

No, my mom is dead, she can't tell me Im a writer.

And yes, I am, funnily enough I am a literary student at the University of Adelaide Senior College. But I like writing these cheap short stories because it raises a cheap laugh and gives the members of this board something to read.

If you want intelligent literature or amazing fiction perhaps read a published author. Or in fact, go do something useful and write yourself, perhaps you may be a better critic of fiction or even a journalist. 

Im an Australian, I make fun of everyone, and as you read above, myself as well. If you can't laugh. Your in the wrong game and the wrong environment.

Oh and if you don't wanna be in it? Tough, because your a character HERE. Its not your real name so its no legal issue, and if you can't take getting made fun of? then you don't have many stones to throw in the immaturity department.

With kind regards... FOAD.

Pacman

Now that's writing.  

Oh I can laugh, I just don't get a laugh out of your stuff. It hasn't been for a lack of trying. I've read all your stuff and it just isnt funny (to me). You do seem to have a following so maybe my sense of humor isnt tuned in to your wave length. Sorry I just can't fawn all over what you write like some. Then again you said it yourself. If you don't like it you're in the wrong enviroment that goes both ways. If you're going to write you're going to have fans and critics. As far as a leagal issue you're right there is no legal issue. I never said there were any. I never said you needed to keep me out of your stuff I just said if you hadn't mentioned me I wouldn't have given my opinion. One good fart deserves another doesnt it?   However there are forum rules and people don't have to be mentioned in your literary efforts if they choose not to be. You might remember that in case you do piss somebody off one day. Seriously I hope you do keep writing I wish you success at it and I hope one day I get it. Right now its crap in my opinion, but then again that's my opinion.  As far as FOAD... That won't work for me. I get as far as the F and have so much fun I never make it to the OAD.  

<S>
Shifty