Velma>Daphne

[VonMessa]

Uh oh it's on now

Picard's ship's counselor traded in her miniskirt for that great low-cut neckline.

Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him.

Picard's ship is better than Kirk's -- better, faster, stronger.

Picard hates children -- Kirk once rescued a bunch of patricidal little maniacs, tried to console them, and almost lost his ship and crew in the process.

Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still manged to make her fall for him.

Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR.


When nurse Chapel re-appeared as Troi's mother, she fell for Picard.

In seven years, Picard never developed a gut like Kirk's.

Picard was never killed by his first officer.

Picard's family made alchoholic beverages for a living.

Kirk kept losing security guards throughout each season; Picard has kept Worf for seven years.

Picard single-handedly saved the Federation, the Klingon Empire, and all of humanity while still a lowly captain.

Picard's crew members sleep with one another on a regular basis.

Picard's crew gambles.

Picard would never have allowed Charlie X aboard his ship.

Despite the Borg incident, Picard is still welcome back at Starfleet HQ. Kirks name is an anathema to Starfleet HQ and alien races alike.

Picard never ordered his ship to self-destruct as a bluff; when he orders it to do so, he MEANS it.

Picard's ship was never taken over by its own computer and made to attack other Starfleet vessels.

Picard was able to bring Denise Crosby back from the dead. Need we say more?

Picard has never been demoted.

Picard has never had his body taken over by a former lover.

Picard has never developed amnesia and thought he was an Indian.

Picard's quarters have a window.

One word: Leadership.

Speaking of losing, Picard has never lost a first officer to a man who once made a career out of selling Chrysler Cordobas, either.

Picard would never be so stupid as to go rock climbing without equipment and rely on an overweight first officer with rocket boots to save him.

Picard would never stand for playing "Row Row Row your boat" around a campfire.

When Picard enters a room, people fall silent; when Kirk enters one, they keep on drinking.

When Picard has an alternate reality experience, it's worth watching and caring about.

Picard never expects the impossible from his engineer.

When Klingons are aboard Picard's ship, they don't go rampaging about with 17th century weaponry.

Picard has more class than Kirk ever had.

If poor judgement were bricks, Kirk would be a housing project.

Picard had the chutzpah to admit when he screwed up instead of putting on a face which only made things worse.

Picard doesn't rely on the Organians to help him settle intergalactic squabbles.

Picard gets along with the aliens aboard his ship.

It's unlikely Picard ever contracted a sexually-transmitted disease.

Picard can actually make being bald, middle-aged, and scrawny look sexy & macho.

Kirk sat alone in the middle of his bridge; Picard kept counselor Troi within easy reach and view at all times.

Picard has never mutinied or had his crew mutiny against him.

When Picard gets drunk, he tracks mud all over the house and gets in a fight. When Kirk gets drunk, he passes out.

Picard hired Whoopi Goldberg to work in his bar.

Picard's ex kept her neme even after the divorce; Kirk's kept it a secret even from her son.

Picard like solving mysteries; Kirk couldn't figure one out if he tried.

Picard has never messed up with the transporter.

Picard has never aged prematurely.

Picard wasn't afraid to take on Satan.

Picard knows Gilgamesh & is able to recite it.

Picard argues with his captors while being tortured, Kirk merely screams in agony.

Picard never brought a woman back from the 20th Century only to have her blow him off in front of the entire Federation assembly.

When Picard talks, people listen.

Picard has never crashed in San Francisco bay in a pirated spacecraft.

Picard would never have brought "Nomad" aboard his ship.

If Khan came aboard Picard's ship, Picard would have had the common sense to restrict what technical manuals he would've been allowed to review.

If Picard found a huge glowing sphere in the middle of outer space only to discover it was controlled by a child with an ugly puppet, he'd be p#@#d.

Picard would never have dropped the charges against Khan.

Kirk actually tried to defend the idea of intergalactic war with the Klingons.

Picard probably would have found the Galileo 7 in less time than it took Kirk.

Kirk tries, usually unsuccessfully, to respect other cultures. Picard tries, usually successfully, to get other cultures to respect him.

Picard's not afraid to deal with more advanced cultures & has done so on a number of occassions.

Picard's been on both Klingon birds-of-prey AND the heavy cruisers (and lived to tell about it).

When Picard goes undercover, he makes it look easy.

Though Picard has contempt for aliens like the Cardassians, he doesn't let it show.

Assimilating has never been a problem for Picard.

You are watching the wrong episodes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=414TmP12WAU    (language!)

[LCADolby]

Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR.

Picard all the way, all he needed was a ship with a bar 

[Big Rat]

Kirk, would have removed the holodeck (of however it's spelled) after the first malfunction.  Picard let that thing screw up everything all the time.

The guys in the red shirts new what they were getting into when they beamed down with Kirk

Kirk didn't care about the crews feelings, "get back to work you bunch of wussies"

Picard's ship needed a counseler, in case somebody got their feeling hurt 

That's all I got, not that much of a treke

Truth be told,  Chuck Norris should have been captain, "We don't need any phasers or torpedos, just beam me over!"

 
BigRat

[caldera]

Kirk is fat because he can be - and still get all the chicks.  Picard looks like some outer space vegetarian. 

Kirk is and always will be the best.  His over-acting seemed cool when I was a kid.  Now it makes for epically awesome comedy.

TNG is lame.



edit: Daphne beats Velma, except in the movie when Velma wore that red leather suit.  Hubba-hubba.

[PR3D4TOR]

Picard is even better than Vader



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vFCBwob65Nw

... if Vader wasn't such a cheater.

[SIK1]

Step away from the television and go outside.

These are all fictional character that have never actually done anything.

[wil3ur]

And while I'm at it...
Xena>Janeway
Kirk>Picard
7>Jadzia

Gabriel>Xena
Picard=TehPwn
7/9+Jadzia=69

[SD67]

I'm good with
Gabriel > Xena
Xena would be a death sentence in the sack though. Could think of worse ways to go.

[Dichotomy]

Step away from the television and go outside.

These are all fictional character that have never actually done anything.

It's freaking cold and dark out there right now so you

shut it   

Picard FTW..

Picard would kick Kirks butt while mixing a drink and reciting passages from the Iliad

[wil3ur]

[Karnak]

Saw this at a t-shirt company.