Who needs MD's and Shrinks?

[AKKuya]

A man after many years of marriage suddenly discovered that he lost his ability to perform in bed.  Distraught with the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to please his wife.  He began to seek out help for his new condition.

He first went to see his personal doctor.  His doctor ordered many tests and days later the diagnosis wasn't a medical issue.  His doctor told him,"I can't find any phsical problems.  This is most likely a psychologocal issue."  His doctor recommended a good psychiatrist.

The man made an appointment for a session and continued for many more sessions discussing anything that could possibly explain his situation.  After many weeks, the psychiatrist informed him,"I can't find nothing mentally wrong to cause your condition.  I have a good idea for you to try."  The psychiatrist gave the man a telephone number and instructed the man to call and go from there.

The man placed the call and spoke to another type of doctor and received instructions on how to locate the new doctor's work location.

Walking into an office, the man saw many bizarre things on the wall.  The new doctor introduced himself as a witch doctor.  The witch doctor led the man into a private room with a low table with a cauldron being lit from a fire underneath.  The witch doctor grabbed several types of powder and sprinkled them into the boiling water.  A purple cloud of particles drifted upwards and released bright sparks that dissolved in the air.

The witch doctor said,"Now, you'll be able to perform just like you were many years ago.  Plus, you'll be able to perform as long as you want to."

The man smiled,"Great.  What do I do?

"Just say one, two, three and you'll be able to perform," replied the witch doctor.

"How do I stop," asked the man.

The witch doctor answered,"Just say one, two, three, four.  Be warned, this can only be done once a year."

The man thanked the witch doctor and headed back home. 

Later that night in bed, the man with a big smile on his face asked his wife,"Are you ready tonight dear?"

"Yes," answered his wife.

The man enthusiastically said,"One, two, three!"  Just like magic, he began to rise to the occasion.

His wife asked,"Why did you say one, two, three for?"

[deSelys]

  good one!

[MrRiplEy[H]]

A man was on a humanitary mission in Africa.

He met a pretty native woman, in fact several of them, and had sex with them.

After returning from the trip he started having weird symptoms on his genitalia. He immediately reserved an appointment to a urologist. They were dumbfounded. They did tests after tests and they just couldn't tell what was wrong with the guy. He tried alternative medicine. Homeopathy. Nothing worked.

Weeks passed and the thing started to get gangrenous. In order to save his life the doctor started to reserve an operation time for amputation. The man paniced completely. He booked a flight back to Africa reasoning that if the disease came from the villages, perhaps the witch doctor could help him.

He drove for 2 days and arrived to the village exhausted. Out of breath he pounded the witch doctors hut to wake him up. The witch doctor came out surprised to see him.

The man explained his problem and the witch doctor examined him in his hut. The man couldn't stand waiting any longer and asked if the doctor would be able to help him.

Your life will be saved, the witch doctor answered and mixed some herbs to relieve the pain.

Can you avoid amputating it? The man asked.

The witch doctor laughed. Don't worry, there is no need for amputation.

The man blew a huge sigh of relieve cursing the incompetent western doctors in the back of his mind.

Oh by the way, the witch doctor added, In 2 days it will drop by itself.