Little something I wrote about in Lit. About the Holocaust

[F22RaptorDude]

Wrote this up before the end of class but ran out of time, Teacher said she was blown away along with a few of my friends who read what I had so far on face book. I'm going to lengthen the ending to put in more detail, bell rung and I quickly added in a few sentences.


Basically we were shown a few pictures, and had to pick one to write a story about. Here's the picture I chose

If they asked me why I did what I did, I honestly wouldn’t have an answer… If they asked me how many poor souls I had brutally beaten or killed I feel that I could not answer. If they asked me how I could live with myself after this horror story I could not tell for I do not have an answer. One story haunts me more than any other a woman who had used her own body for protection for her young child, I was their death sentence, they had no chance.

Before the war the idea of killing someone had never come to mind, if it had I’m sure I would have protested the idea. To think that a person could kill another person is beyond me. I mean the victim has a history in life, all that was worked up to get to where they were cut off by the brutal hand of man, the idea sickened me. Yet here I am doing the very thing I never gave a second thought about.

I worked at a sorting station at a concentration camp somewhere in Austria, I forget the name as it has been to long. Day after day hundreds and sometimes thousands of Jews would pass me, my Mp-40 at hand constantly ready to pull the trigger. I felt it was my duty to protect the world from all impurities that challenged our perfection in this world.

 

I had never shot anyone yet, most of the time someone got out of line I would simply kick them and shout to get back in line, sometimes I would hit them with the butt of my gun to make them cooperate. The questions that followed I had no answer for, the “Why are you doing this” they often times shouted under the blows of me and my fellow collogues. I didn’t like to think about the pain we inflicted on their frail bodies, the injuries that could end up having them die or be killed. I was a monster but at the same time attempted pity on the poor souls.

In early fall of 1944, we were done in, I was moved to another camp that demanded more brutal treatment than my previous one, We were on edge as news that the Soviet front was fast approaching and was becoming unstoppable. Brutality increased as we attempted to eradicate as much life as we could before the final blow was stuck to us. This was the first time I was ever demanded to shoot a living person. In the sorting line men were separated from young children and women, the women and children were send off to the crematoriums or shot on the spot, I was assigned to kill a woman who was on the ground huddled over her young infant who appeared to have been severely beaten. The tears strained the ground, the screams pierced the air, she begged for life.

My Superior officer dragged the two over to a dirt field and exchanged my submachine gun for a rifle, he ordered me to shoot them like dogs. I thought about asking to have someone else do it, I thought of the rebellion I would get for being soft, I grabbed the rifle and told them to stand. The woman shouted again that her life be spared along with her child. My superior walked off to go beat some other prisoners who weren’t cooperating and left me the job to do. I walked over to her and the child and kneeled down. Words refused to come out but I finally uttered “I’m sorry I have to do this, it pleases me no more than it does you” I sighed deeply of all the things I wanted to do this defiantly was not one of them.

Her shouting stopped and she looked at me, the eyes showed no sign of life just fear and despair. There was nothing I could do but assure her it would be quick and I would try to be fast about it. She begun crying again and clutched her child close to her “I don’t care about myself anymore, just please don’t hurt my baby” she managed to scream out. The child had begun to cry to over his mother’s distraught figure. These words still haunt me today. For I wish I could have saved one of them, but in the end my superior came back and asked why I had not killed them. He laughed and went over and stood them up, I had no choice. I raised my gun to her head, I’m sure she didn’t want to see her child die before her eyes. She turned around and shielded the toddler, I aimed and closed me eyes. I didn’t hear the shot, all I felt was the pat on my back as my superior told me to open my eyes and behold the scene of which plagues my dreams still. The woman had been shot in the back of the head, her figure was spread along the ground, eyes open, staring blankly at me.

The feeling of sickness filled me as I saw the infant crawl up to her and cry for her to move. I turned my head I did not wish to see this horrible scene. Gunshots rang out, my superior seeing I didn’t have it anymore to shoot again pulled out his pistol and fired at the child multiple times. They were both dead before me, this I may never forget.

Thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated

[coombz]

harsh stuff for me to read, harsh for you to have to write too probably (and if you had a kid you probably wouldn't have been able to write it at all  )

compared to what you usually come out with on these forums I think it's actually not too badly written

a bit clumsy in places, and you could do with a few more commas

a solid B- from me

[F22RaptorDude]

harsh stuff for me to read, harsh for you to have to write too probably (and if you had a kid you probably wouldn't have been able to write it at all  )

compared to what you usually come out with on these forums I think it's actually not too badly written

a bit clumsy in places, and you could do with a few more commas

a solid B- from me

Like I said I was pressed for time, and also It kinda got to me, I was shaking around the end, I could picture it so clearly in my head... it Horrified me. Worse part is I have the make the ending a lot more detailed, my writing is the only thing thats keeping me from failing.

Thanks though, i'll add em in when I look over it again and put more detail in among the paragraphs

[katanaso]

You have a good imagination.  Certain things will improve as you write more often.  You're speaking from the Troopers point of view, so try to express it in Germanic phrases or terms.  What did they call the Concentration Camps?

Also, from what I've read and was taught, the SS who did this stuff wouldn't have felt remorse.  They viewed the Jews as vile animals.  Writing and thinking in that frame of mind would be very distressing.

Good job though.

[4Prop]

my grandfather was in the 12th SS. he gave me his pistol, his iron cross, his helmet and a few other things. he always says he wants to forget about it and thats why he gave me those things. what he did was terrible but back then I'm sure he felt differently when he was holding that gun to the back of someones head that now sits on my desk.

[MaSonZ]

noticed a couple spelling/grammar issues, nothing overly large, but enough to dock points from a hard grader. I understand you were pressed for time, but double / triple check it before you hand it in. very deep. the first three paragraphs almost resemble the opening to a novel or memoir to a degree. possibly add more meat to the concluding paragraph too. The reading gets dropped, and although a the reader we know what happened, and why, it is such a short conclusion it leaves the reader wanting to read more. 

[F22RaptorDude]

noticed a couple spelling/grammar issues, nothing overly large, but enough to dock points from a hard grader. I understand you were pressed for time, but double / triple check it before you hand it in. very deep. the first three paragraphs almost resemble the opening to a novel or memoir to a degree. possibly add more meat to the concluding paragraph too. The reading gets dropped, and although a the reader we know what happened, and why, it is such a short conclusion it leaves the reader wanting to read more. 

I'll work on it tonight, the ending I literally had 20 seconds to make so I can do alot better, as for my grammar mistakes i'll get those checked out

[mbailey]

Good to see your school is open minded enough to allow you to write about ( and write ) something so harsh.......I enjoyed reading it  

[Penguin]

my grandfather was in the 12th SS. he gave me his pistol, his iron cross, his helmet and a few other things. he always says he wants to forget about it and thats why he gave me those things. what he did was terrible but back then I'm sure he felt differently when he was holding that gun to the back of someones head that now sits on my desk.

Is he still alive?  It would be good to know how he felt about the whole thing.  As far as I can tell, the SS weren't volunteers- they were just stronger and faster than average.

-Penguin

[MaSonZ]

Is he still alive?  It would be good to know how he felt about the whole thing.  As far as I can tell, the SS weren't volunteers- they were just stronger and faster than average.

-Penguin

did you read the quote? "He wanted to forget it, thats why he gave me his pistol, iron cross, helmet and a few other things". I must ask how you think he felt if he wants(ed) to forget it......

[F22RaptorDude]

Penguin i'm sure anyone who did what they did sure as heck would not want to talk about it today, nobody likes the idea of being that cruel and evil these days

[Penguin]

He may have felt it was right at the time, then changed his mind.

-Penguin

[Shuffler]

You should proof read it before turning it in. Quite a few mistakes. Overall read was interesting.

[F22RaptorDude]

You should proof read it before turning it in. Quite a few mistakes. Overall read was interesting.

Thanks and I'll have those taken care of soon

[MaSonZ]

He may have felt it was right at the time, then changed his mind.

-Penguin

probably the case. even if it is the case, I highly doubt he would openly say this is so. the only ones who felt it would be right and would still be open about it would be Hitler and Himmler.....