Author Topic: Kids in Church  (Read 310 times)

Offline AKKuya

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Kids in Church
« on: March 02, 2012, 03:37:23 AM »

3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
 
A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in
a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'

One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'
 
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'
 
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
Kevin 5, and Ryan 3
The boys began to argue over
who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand..
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'

A wife invited some people to dinner..
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'


I just keep picturing Dennis the Menace for these stories and his friends.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade in the world. Every morning when you wake up, swallow a live toad. Nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. They say money can't buy happiness. I would like the opportunity to find out. Why be serious?

Offline deSelys

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Re: Kids in Church
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2012, 04:53:57 AM »
  :lol
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Offline mbailey

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Re: Kids in Church
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2012, 05:42:47 AM »
My granddad was a Methodist Minister, im sure these would have made him howl with laughter :rofl   :aok
Mbailey
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Offline lambo31

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Re: Kids in Church
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2012, 08:13:07 AM »
 :lol  :aok
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Offline mechanic

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Re: Kids in Church
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2012, 08:45:56 AM »
 :lol
apparently I used to sing Hossana in his trousers during ding dong merrily on high.
And I don't know much, but I do know this. With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.

Offline B-17

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Re: Kids in Church
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2012, 08:56:40 AM »
:lol
apparently I used to sing Hossana in his trousers during ding dong merrily on high.

LOLOL :rofl :rofl :rofl

That's the best I've heard yet :D

Being a Preacher's kid, I've seen lots, but not a couple of those :lol

Funeral directors too.

My dad (actually) started going to college for Funeral Services, he heard stuff... Mostly "large undertaking" jokes :P