Wow, I never knew...
You do have some troubles, there, but don't feel like men can't cry, scream, or let their emotions out. If something's eating away at you, don't keep it locked up, treat the issue like you would a bullet in your body. Don't leave it in there, get patched up. See if you can find someone to talk to- anyone. Tell your wife, though. Don't be rude, but she can help you to get over this. Remember, you should feel safe telling her stuff like this. If that doesn't help, there is no shame in telling a therapist, because a "macho man" like yourself isn't afraid of his feelings and isn't afraid to ask for help when he needs it. Certainly, don't go out and have a breakdown or let this take over your life, but letting this eat away at you gets you nowhere, either.
Best of luck!
-Penguin
P.S. I
a little when I read the story, keep up the good work helping the homeless and don't forget the world around you. Yes, you may not be interested in helping, and I understand, but when I say "Do you care?" I mean, "Does the thought of child soldiers unsettle you in that you'd like it to stop?"
