Olds, I give you this piece of advice as someone who was a part of this community at around the same age as you. When you begin to take something so seriously, for instance the BBS or the game, it's best to just take a nice long break. Once you've been without it and had time to think it over, you'll realize that it's all just fun and a getaway from the real world. Your responses to other people's actions will be different; you'll have a new ideology.
#S#
Josh