This patented miracle oinment...erm...cable will cure acne, acid reflux, arthritis, Bad Breath, Baldness, Bedwetting, dandruff, diaper rash, Eczema, Endometriosis, Enlarged Prostate, Erectile Dysfunction, flat foot, Genital Herpes, Genital Warts, Gonorrhea, Gout, Head Lice ,Headache, hearing Loss, Hemorrhoids, Hepatitis, Herniated Discs, Influenza, Infertility, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Itching, joint Pain, Mad Cow Disease, Malaria, Memory Loss, Migraine, Muscle Cramps, Muscle Fatigue, Muscle Pain, Obesity, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Psoriasis, Skin Rash, Syphilis, Tennis Elbow, Ulcers, Urinary Tract Infection aaaaaaaaannnnddd Varicose Veins just to name a few.
I'm surprised you didn't get 3 already