Gotta love the Onion, they produce some funny fake news 
That they do!

Platinum talons sharpened diamond points $42 Million
2 M2B-1 flamethrowers in nostrils $1 Million
4000 reflective scales (that now have been upgraded to glow in the dark) $2.8 Million
Millions already spent constructing the tank's pure silver, gleaming underbelly
