About a month ago my youngest daughter called. Haven't seen her in 11 years. I was laying in bed, dozing off, when the phone rang. Got up to see who called. It was from Houston. I also have a niece who lives there. However something about the call was different. Maybe I heard the voice that left the call while half asleep. Picked up the phone and took it to my bedroom where I laid it beside me in bed. There was a voice mail left on it but I didn't play it right away. Instead I just laid there thinking about it. Finally about an hour or two later I picked up the phone in the dead of night and played the message with the only light on being that of the phone's LCD.
It was my daughter. She was getting married and she was planning to get married in the Dominican Republic. Many thoughts went through my head. Probably my original thought is after all these years she needed a Dad prop for the wedding. I played through my head what I would say. "So how would this come about? You have the groom, the pastor, the bridesmaid, the ring, the flower girl but something is missing. Oh yeah, I need a Dad!" That was the thought I was holding onto throughout the night.
The next morning I called a friend before returning the call. She said, "What great news!" That changed my attitude. Then I thought of what a man told me many years ago when things weren't going my way, "Ron, No matter what you still have to do the right thing. Then I thought it over for a few hours of what I would say. My ex-wife has mental issues. She's currently in assisted living. Much of her problems were what drove a wedge between, not just my youngest daughter but my other kids as well. At least until they finally asked the question, "If it's this bad for us what was it like for dad?!" It was horrible. With these thoughts in mind I called my daughter. I honestly didn't know what emotions I would display. However I proudly controlled myself.
Jenn, it's your Pa.
Hi Dad!
She tells me more about her wedding and that she hadn't seen me in so long. Tells me where she's been and what she has done. Then I say, keeping my ex-wife in mind and going for some humor. Honey if you don't mind I'd like to offer some advice based upon my experience.
"Have you thought of giving him some type of ink blot test?" She laughs hard. "Tell him there are no wrong or right answers, well, of course when there is." She laughs some more.
She then said she would be in town on the 16th and would like to get together. We all decide on Cracker Barrel. Now it really gets awkward. No wait the really awkward comes later. We meet at Cracker Barrel. I'm a bit later than the others and come in with just too much going through my head. I'm hesitant and not really myself. But I put a good foot forward and think maybe she will compliment me on my weight loss. Then of all the stupid, awkward things to do, when she sees me I reach out and shake her hand. "Dad, what about a hug." Good lord. I give her a hug think about my really bad intro. Oh but it gets worse, much worse.
Finally we are seated. I sit next to my youngest, the one I hadn't seen in 11 years with my oldest daughter across from me and my son next to her. I tell my oldest, my son, and his wife I will pay for theirs. Then explain to my youngest they need it a little more than her. She makes great money and understands. Her and her fiance' bring their iPad which has all of their pictures. Pictures when they were in France, Peru, Sardinia, and China. She was in China running a marathon. I have their wedding site but I need permission before inserting the link. I, uh, showed them a picture of my red computer and my Jeep in the back yard loaded with bags of manure. Well gee dad, interesting.
We finished our meals and I pick up the tab for my other two kids. We're suppose to meet at Grandma's. First though I need to get some transmission fluid. The Jeep has a leak. So I swing by Autozone. Then head on to Mom's.
When I arrive at Mom's my daughter is still in the car with her fiance'. As I get out she gets out and comes towards me. "Dad, Adam's, her fiance', father just passed away!" It was unexpected.
What do you say? Not sure I could completely grapple with the days events. Here you want to have fun, be sympathetic, make amends, and yet I'm just perplexed putting it mildly.
Not so ironically that story continued. My daughter had to go to Florida to help Adam go through his dad's things. The funeral was on Christmas Eve and then they had Christmas the next day with Adam's family, watching the kids opening presents. She said it was an emotional roller coaster ride. The best way I can think of it is, Death one day and rebirth the next.
I suppose at this point there a quite a few things I could say that would be passe. What I will say is this, when folks ask me what kind of Christmas I had I tell them wonderful, my daughter called.
