How would you feel...

[Zacherof]

Coombz is awesome

[MarineUS]

It's interesting that neither of you are able to grasp the distinction between being 'anti stupid wars' and entirely 'anti-military'. I've repeated myself too many times now to think that the message will actually sink in, but I am not anti-military at all. I have a couple of mates back home who are in the Royal Marines who I respect greatly for their abilities and sacrifices, and a friend here in the RNZAF. Not to mention the squaddies and friends within AH who are active or past members of the armed forces.

Despite your attempt to turn my comment around in an attempt to flame me, my response to the OP was completely honest.

As a father, if I had made a choice between my family and some kind of job (military or otherwise) which would lead me to be away from home for a long time, and then came back to find my wife had been cheating on me and my child calling another man 'Daddy', then I would feel I had made a very bad choice.

It shouldn't be your fault. If someone MARRIES you then they are saying they will be faithful to YOU and ONLY you no matter if you are gone 1 day or 10 years. So long as there is hope you are alive, they are faithful to you.

There is NO excuse for the wife doing that or allowing the daughter to be in that situation. NONE. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

[Zacherof]

It shouldn't be your fault. If someone MARRIES you then they are saying they will be faithful to YOU and ONLY you no matter if you are gone 1 day or 10 years. So long as there is hope you are alive, they are faithful to you.

There is NO excuse for the wife doing that or allowing the daughter to be in that situation. NONE. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

there will always be seeds of malice in some womens hearts.
Some are cheaters till the day they die.

[MarineUS]

there will always be seeds of malice in some womens hearts.
Some are cheaters till the day they die.

QFT

[coombz]

There is NO excuse for the wife doing that or allowing the daughter to be in that situation. NONE. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

I wasn't making excuses for the wife, I agree totally that you should be able to expect your partner to be faithful to you if you are married and have a child together.

Sadly however, this very often is not the case in the real world.

[Plawranc]

I said that Id never be a military man and a married man for this reason.

If I met someone I love and wanted to marry and was sure of. Id never join up. So unless a third world war with civilization at stake was being fought, I wouldn't leave her side.

Purely because women are temperamental, they need support from their other half due to their heavy emotional dependence. If they know that the husband walking out the door, considers fighting the enemy more important than loving her... and she knows that the enemy might just kill him and she will never see him again... she is more likely to go to a man who won't run off to get killed.

Plus like us men... if she ain't getting any... it will get to the point where she will go to find it. Thank evolution (or god if your a religious man) for that one.

P.S, not saying that all men or women are cheaters, I'm just saying that primal urges will always overcome emotional control eventually, no matter how hard you fight.

[xbrit]

It's interesting that neither of you are able to grasp the distinction between being 'anti stupid wars' and entirely 'anti-military'. I've repeated myself too many times now to think that the message will actually sink in, but I am not anti-military at all. I have a couple of mates back home who are in the Royal Marines who I respect greatly for their abilities and sacrifices, and a friend here in the RNZAF. Not to mention the squaddies and friends within AH who are active or past members of the armed forces.

Once a decision is made to send in the military you should support them completely. If you don't agree with the decision to send them take it up with the Government not infest these pages with your rot.

[coombz]

Once a decision is made to send in the military you should support them completely.

I wonder if you realise just how stupid you sound when you say things like this.

As for 'infesting these pages with my rot', you brought the subject up, not me.

But if you can't stand to ever read an opinion that does not completely match your own, then I would suggest sticking me on ignore and keeping up your subscription to The Daily Mail



If patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel (Samuel Johnson) then surely blind and unconditional patriotism is the first refuge of a moron  

[Zacherof]

I'm just going to come out swinging.

I will whole heartidly support the troops. It's the leaders I don't neccissarily support(and lookie lookie the guy I voted against is going to be my commander in chief  )

[coombz]

Zacherof I reported you to the FBI for creating an 'Obama is the antichrist' option in your poll

enjoy your drone strike bud 

[BaDkaRmA158Th]

Zacherof I reported you to the FBI for creating an 'Obama is the antichrist' option in your poll

enjoy your drone strike bud 

You are a middle man white flag waving "please help me im NOW being oppressed" moron.

Bottom line is you are TRYING to treat any military job like a CIVILIAN JOB. I got new's for you pal, even a soldier scrubbing the toilet with a tooth brush has TEN up on your sorry arse for anything and everything you have done for your SELF, no matter how great you think you are as a man, or even as a human being.  Even a insubordinate incompetent eff' off at least tryed to be something GREATER then you, civilian.

You will not understand, as im sure by now the only thing you DO understand is your own face and voice as you talk to yourself in the mirror every morning trying ever so desperately to reinforce that idea of what a man IS, in your own mind. Good luck with that, im sure it is a daily battle.

Because i can tell you right now, if you ever understood..you would have never typed that sentence that pissed off so many GREAT men.


Now, back to your hole. We will call you if we need a white flag waved and someone to spout nonsense while using the very freedom people sacrifices and died for you to have. Sacrifice...Does not involve losing ones mind in battle, or losing a limb to a bomb grenade bullet or a blade, it is not laying in a coffin. The largest part is leaving everything you know and love, your family, your friends..your civilian cloths, even your shoes. To serve something else.

Someday coombz, you will learn to tell yourself one thing while standing before the morning mirror, If you dont have anything nice to say..then shut the diddly up.

[mthrockmor]

Serious note, sadly many of these responses were pretty immature.

What is the nature of the relationship with your wife? Something like this indicates a major divergence of relationship. Were you aware of this? Was it a shock? Are you seperated? Many of us have been in the military and know of situations where a deployment was privately serving much as a seperation would for civilians.

We might be able to provide better thoughts with some of this information, if you care to share. Do you want to repair the relationship with the wife?

I Strongly agree, don't blame the daughter.

Children are completely lost trying to please two parents in a situation children have no business trying to resolve. No matter the actions of the parents the children tend to blame familial breakups in terms of 'Dad left/Mom kicked out Dad because I did....'

I've given this advice to others but the book "The Five Love Languages" is great for helping you understand how to communicate with your spouse, and how she can communicate with you. As for the deeper issues of fidelity, etc, that is tough and something many of us are not really in a position to address.

I hope that helps a bit.

Boo

PS Don't do anything stupid like trying to beat the other guy up. That won't solve anything, very likely make it worse. Imagine spending time in jail, worse yet getting discharged while you try and solve these other issues. Contact your chaplain right away and begin talking so you have someone on the ground you can turn to for advice. Don't listen to some of the idiots on this board. They are fun to fly cartoon planes with but not the people you want helping solve real world problems.

[coombz]

this guy trying to rival semp for gibberish posts     edit: sorry boo, not directed at you sir

from what I can translate it seems we can put you into the same 'blindly and unconditionally patriotic box' with xbrit

you both would've made great Nazis  (yeah, I was trying to avoid falling afoul of Godwin's  law, but you've driven me to it )

[bacon8tr]

, then I would feel I had made a very bad choice.

The OP didn't make a bad choice, it would appear his other half did.   

[Meatwad]

Is it a (older) guy the daughter is seeing and the wife is hiding it, or the mrs getting around?

If the first, time to do some old fashioned whooping
The second, some old fashioned whoopin