Bryce: Are you drunk?Chazz: No, but this oughta do it[smashes open a bottle of liquor and drinks]Bryce: I'd fire you... if you weren't so whoopee beautiful out there.[pause]Bryce: You smell like urine.Chazz: A lot?
Chazz: [drunk while performing in "Grublets On Ice"] Hey! Hey, you little forest creatures! None of you sons of b****es try to be heroes!
Chazz: [Referring to his program] I hope you've brought your silver polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold.Jimmy: That was disgusting.Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
Chazz: The night is a very dark time for me.Jimmy: It's dark for everyone, moron!Chazz: Not for Alaskans or dudes with night-vision goggles.
Chazz: You're living in the past, Sammi. Me and the Woodland Fairies, we're living in the HERE and NOW.
Jimmy: I see you got fat.Chazz: I see you still look like a fifteen year old girl, but not hot.
Blades of Glory, so many great quotes.
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.Dole Office Clerk: What?Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *BS* artist!Comicus: *Grumble*...Dole Office Clerk: Did you BS last week?Comicus: No.Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to BS last week?Comicus: Yes!
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
