Thirty two years ago today at 5:00 PM I made the best decision of my life and married Kathleen. We celebrated with friends at the Peninsula House in Sea Bright NJ and retired to our sail boat Desiderata just before 10PM. Heavy fog had rolled in as predicted and blanked the area, we motored slowly out the Shrewsbury River into Sandy Hook Bay and anchored just inside of Horse Shoe Cove to wait out the fog, the air was so still. We left Sandy Hook Bay at dawn under full sail and 140% working Jib, destination Block Island, for the start of race week, the semi-annual Block to Bermuda race. We hadn’t entered the race, but decided to trail along. It would be my tenth crossing and Kathy’s first.
Desiderata was a 36 feet sloop rig, I had opted for the ocean version of a 1980 Hunter 36, as outfitted almost 9 tons, with traditional mast stepped through to the keel. Fresh water maker, Generator, Air Condition, when you needed it and the original 15 gallon fuel tank supplemented with a 85 gallon backup. Tankage for 100 gallons of fresh water and the ability to generated 60 gallons a day.
Navigation was VHF, UHF, com and Loren and Celestial (learned in the Boy Scouts) and directional finder. The best I had ever done with celestial navigation was gotten to within 5 miles, but it was always close enough.
My engine burned ¾ of a gallon of fuel each hour and pushed us at an honest 6 knots. Under sail Desiderata did an honest 6.5 and even 7 knots. In theory we could motor from block to Bermuda with fuel to spare, but I planned to keep pace with the slower boats in the race and figured we could cross in 100 hours.
I figured that we would cross to Bermuda and stay for two weeks and then Kathy could fly home and I’d return with a airline buddy that wanted to get some off shore time.
That first day out of Sandy Hook, somewhere along the south coast of Long Island, put Kathy to the test, with short choppy seas of 8 to 12 feet and squalls blowing through at 11PM, harnessed in while she manned the helm , I worked my way to the foredeck to continue to reduce sail to a storm jib and third reef on the mainsail. That seemed to give us a much improved ride and slowed us down to 4 knots in the chop. I looked back and saw that smile on Kath’s face and I know she was fine. I told her to go below and get some sleep, to set the clock for 4 AM. I let her sleep till 6 AM, just as we rounded Montauk Point, sleepy eyed and in a sweet shirt and blue shorts she popped up on deck wondering why I had shut off the alarm and why I now had the engine running . I was trying to explained to her about all the submarine traffic when she pointed to port and said, look a whale and then just stood there with her mouth open, as the “Whale” continued to grow out of the water and turned into the coning tower of one of our nations boomers, a not so uncommon sight between Montauk and Block.
We anchored in the Great Salt Pond at Block at 10 AM. Kathy raced me to the registration desk for the Race to Bermuda and suffered all the hoots and hollers and good natured kidding when her brothers and sisters arrived on the afternoon ferry with the Just Married ensign and raised it on Desiderata’s mast.
The trip to Bermuda was uneventful, except, clothing was optional and Kathy decided not to fly home but made the return trip with Harry and I, signing on as our cook and forever as my first mate.
I lost Kathy last July, today would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary , I’m thankful for the 31 years of marriage and our 35 years in total together. After her passing, everyone told me it would get better with time. Everyone was wrong. You just learn to live with the pain. The grief isn’t diminished with time, it still comes in waves. I miss you.
