I'm sure its all that porno I surf, Zack, that causes me to need anti-virus software on my Windows machines. If only I could keep it in my pants...
As for Windows, you are correct. It seems to be a sort of slurry of pre-eaten and predigested bits, passed through the filthy elastic of some form of sphincter, deposited in between two layers of flaky pastry for a gullible pubic (ha, ha, public, of course). Think of it as a large and fragrant pie from which many people take a BIG BITE.