The "official" AH Onion board

[ebfd11]

BREAKING NEWS...... Report have come in to this news station that Semp is actually Dutch and his accent is a ruse to fool people that he really comes from Manitoba, Canada.



                                         Skuzzy had let a stinky winky bad enough to fry the main rack at the AH server.. detailed report, and not a report from Skuzzy will follow,

[Reaper90]

Headline: Bearded geezer from Pensacola, FL arrested on doggie porn charges, blames online video game for lapse in judgment. Quote: "They looked just like sheep, and the pig was asking for it!"

[Cremator]

DR 7 for president.

[1MADDOG1]

Headline: Bearded geezer from Pensacola, FL arrested on doggie porn charges, blames online video game for lapse in judgment. Quote: "They looked just like sheep, and the pig was asking for it!"

 

  Michael Vick made me do it!

[Ramon]

On the scene with action news reporter Scoop Jones.....Eye witnesses say some pileit calling himself Pipz was grabbing his joystick and hosing down all who came near!

[bustr]

Breaking News!

999000 swears the phantom bug from AW is back. If a spitfire fly's inverted behind his B17, he can't shoot it down.

And now a special announcement from our sponsor:

MethaneGass Salyer!!!!!

If you are suffering from sudden delusional memories or rank rancid senior smelly moments not your own. It's very likely you are the victim of a personal methane\ volatile sulphur compounds\hydrogen sulphide\methanethiol\dimethyl sulphide\dimethyl disulphide\dimethyl trisulphide inhalation event from an external source.

Our product comes with the finest Ladies Nylon to pull over your head to act as a barrier to the inflated gas levels. While carefully packaged in the bottom at your discretion, is a Tarus Judge .410-45L loaded with .410 Snake Shot rounds to address the source of your gas event as you see fit.

Call: WeAreRippingYouOffBigTime for our convenient price scaling and shipping along with the number to our finest Legal services located in downtown Ciudad Juarez. The garden spot of Mexico.

And back to the News!

Well folks we are sure Mr. 999000 will want to avail himself of this deal to address his sudden onset event. Anonymous sources say they have been seeing a second figure sneaking into his B17's back door just before 999 releases his brakes for takeoff. With a scattered trail of jalapeno burrito wrappers blowing about behind him. Enquiring minds will remain vigilant as this story plays itself out, and the identity of the second figure is revealed. This reporter personally wishes Mr. 999000 well, and hopes he lets her rip on that methane source once and for all.

   

[guncrasher]

according to some research drinking Dihydrogen Monoxide while playing the game is bad for your health.  while Dihydrogen Monoxide is a needed chemical compound for the human body it is better taken diluted with malted barley and flavored with hops.  other safe alternatives is to freeze it and mix it with your favorite alcoholic beverage.  and again be aware that some alcoholic beverages have high levels of Dihydrogen Monoxide.  so taken too much can lead to vomiting and flu like symptoms the next day.

a separate study has proven that to improve aiming and enjoyment of the game moderate use of Dihydrogen Monoxide diluted with malted barley and flavored with hopes is the prefer choice for those with superiors acm.



semp

[Lab Rat 3947]

this thread is definitely on a roll   
keep em coming   
      


LtngRydr

[Meatwad]

"Due to the unusually large amount of crying over the HQ being down constantly, HTC will be implementing at each HQ twelve SA-21 air defence systems using the 40N6 long range missile. It was also noted that the janitors of the O club had gotten very annoyed that every time the HQ was destroyed, they were forced to clean up piles of empty Kleenex boxes and the vast complaints of people having [bunched up panties]"

[DmonSlyr]

In a surprising incident, Skuzzy laughed!  No one is quite sure what provoked the outburst, and everyone is afraid to ask.  It is this reporters speculation,......he farted.

Hahaha that's awesome!! Hope the office caught a good whiff hehehe

[BaldEagl]

Well..we now know Skuzzy laughs at farts...so that's something! 

No.  We only know he laughs at his own fart jokes.  That's like farting in church and sitting in your own pew.

[JimmyC]

We have some exciting developments..

The naysayers have moved from the last topic to say nay to
to the new topic to say nay to..
I say neigh to the naysayers...
lets keep abreast of the situation..

...over to you

[Wiley]

New player shocks community. Pundits at a loss to explain bizarre behavior. Witnesses report the new player collided and took damage while the other aircraft flew away apparently unharmed. When the new player failed to complain in text or voice some witnesses were so upset they needed counseling. Assuming the new player simply didn't know what had happened several players expressed outrage on his behalf but were silenced when the new player stated that he probably should have ducked sooner.

 

Wiley.

[JunkyII]

Reports of a Midway getting a sex change after Bruv declined his marriage proposal....more to follow.

[GhostCDB]

Reports of a Midway getting a sex change after Bruv declined his marriage proposal....more to follow.

Shots Fired