I had a one of these people come into the store while I was sipping on a Monster... Then proceeded.a very similar lecture about how the devil is controlling my mind and blah blah blah...
My response...
I went into a spasmatic seizure while drabbling in tongues while muttering YOU SHALL NOT STOP ME!
Needless to say after corp finally stopped laughing and obviously unable to say it with a straight face gave me a "stern warning"