Well, it's okay. As Ripsnort notes, breathing air and aging correlate strongly to the occurrence of cancer, but, per yesterday's NCES.gov report, 93% of Detroit public school 8th-graders can't read, 95% of 'em are sub-proficient in math.*
So, basically, beach can't do the math... Thus, if a statistical correlation exists in the forest, can anybody contract it?
Actually, this probably nicely explains the Philly train wreck in which the conductor took the 55mph curve at 100 mph. He was probably a DPS graduate.
*DPS achieves that rate at an expenditure of $18000/year/student... Imagine what they could do at $24000/yr/student!!! It's so exciting!