I was standing in line behind a guy who bought a scratch-off. I asked him (while he was scratching it) how much he had won on those, and he said, "Occasionally, I get some......oh crap! oh crAP, oh CRAP, OH CRAP!!!!!".
As he was shoving the ticket under the nose of the cashier yelling "Oh crap", over and over again. She looked at it and told him where he had to go to collect it.
After he walked out (still shouting "oh crap"), she turned to me and said, there goes "1.5 Million". On a $20 scratch off.
That is the closest I have come to winning the lottery.