Beefcake, I just noticed you haven't actually tested your mic or jack. Wouldn't that be the first thing to do before dumping the current gear?
First, how many audio jacks do you have in your laptop? If two, it's easy to test the microphone jack by plugging another microphone into it. Or even the headphones! Yes, the headphones can be plugged to a microphone jack and they'll really pick up sound. They're not very sensitive so you'd have to shout but for testing purposes they can tell if the jack is faulty or not. If only one jack, a Y cable splitting the mic and phone lines would be required for testing.
Second, since you're talking about a laptop, is there a built-in microphone somewhere? Most laptops have one, but not all. It's often beside the camera but it can as well be somewhere near the hinges, a small hole. If you have one, does it work?
Third, have you checked your Control Panel for a Realtek Audio tool? That's the most common brand for onboard audio although there may be others. Anyhow, the audio tool should tell you quite a lot. The Windows Sound Device tool also can be quite informative. What I'm trying to ask, have you checked that the microphone is active? With Windows10 you may end up getting a silent update which can disable some features! Check your audio settings and update the drivers if needed!
