A joke-maybe funny may not be-but it's it really happened.

[lunaticfringe]

a woman walked into a post office-a old man was standing at the customer counter-behind the counter was a blonde woman holding a envelope, talking and yelling at it. the old man asked her what she was doing-she looked at him and said VOICE MAIL.   

[Oldman731]

A man of comparable age to some of us is at his doctor's office.

Doctor:  "You're in great shape, sir!  I'll bet your father lived a good long life."

Old man:  "What makes you think he's dead?"

Doctor:  "...well...he's not...?"

Old man:  "Nope.  He's 90 years old and strong as a horse."

Doctor:  "That's remarkable!  I'll bet his father lived a long time, too."

Old man:  "What makes you think he's dead?"

Doctor:  "...he isn't...?"

Old man:  "Nope.  112 and getting married next week to a lady who's barely 23 years old."

Doctor"  "Twenty-three years old?  Good God, man, why would a young girl like that want to marry a man who's 112?"

Old man:  "What makes you think she wants to get married?"

- oldman

[1stpar3]

  LOVE THAT ONE!     So far so good!. This has always inspired me...true or not ! 

[Meatwad]

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

[bustr]

Woman calls tech support back when the mouse was the hottest new technology. She needed help setting it up but the tech on the phone needed a copy of her receipt to verify her purchase. He asked her to fax a copy to his fax machine next to his desk. She say's OK and in a few minutes asked if he got it. He says, no. She says I held it up to the monitor facing the fax program and hit enter.

[save]

Medieval helpdesk 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ

[Volron]

Medieval helpdesk 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ

 

[bozon]

A man visits his doctor:

Man: “Doc, I am feeling tired all the time, my hair is falling, I am getting fat, the kids don’t respect me and my wife barely looks at me... what should I do?”

Doc: “You should start running - it will do you good. Every day run 10 kilometers. Call me in a month”.

30 days later the man call his doctor:

Man: “Doc, thank you! I feel wonderful, even my hair is growing again!”

Doc: “This is excellent, what does your wife say about this?”

Man: “What wife? I am 300 kilometers from home already!”

[Maverick]

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

[Meatwad]

 

[guncrasher]

fool me once, shame on me.  fool me 97 times, she's one hell of a lover.


semp

[Maverick]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

‘Yes,’ I sighed, 'she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

I took my wife to a restaurant The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- ---

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....