Let us commence a journey into the much-traveled topic of the toxic player's unendurable attempts to confuse, befuddle, and neutralize public opposition. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I’m referring to. I’m not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Isn’t it odd that incomprehensible, orgulous gits, whose ostentatious, wily lifestyle will make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely raucous as soon as our backs are turned, are immune from censure? Why is that? That’s not a rhetorical question. What’s more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, toxic players hate people who have huge supplies of the things they lack. What they lack the most is common sense, which underlies my point that it is not for nothing that the toxic player has been branded the most mawkish personality in the world. Some would even revise that epithet to the most mawkish personalities in the history of the world. Either way, the toxic player advises its underlings and 'peers' to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. Such advice isn’t merely bad; it’s dangerous. It tells us that the toxic player has been hard at work creating a one-world government combining lexiphanicism and pessimism under the same tent, all under his or her control. Do I mean conspiracy? Yes I do. I am convinced that there is such a plot, international in scope, generations old in planning, and incredibly treacherous in intent. If this blackhearted scheme is successful, you can wave goodbye to your freedom to say anything publicly about how that last statement is almost a tautology. So let the toxic player call me neurotic; I call him/her illiterate.
Although the toxic player markets itself as a high-concept, change-the-world do-gooder, most people react to its crime-stained, scrofulous annunciations as they would to having a pile of steaming pig manure dumped on their doorstep. Even when they can cope, they resent having to do so. Speaking of resentment, if we don’t do something soon, the toxic player's ignorant writings will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people. A few colleagues of mine have suggested that we encourage thr toxic player winged monkeys to promote love, respect, hope, and solidarity. I’m afraid I can’t help but chortle at the manifest absurdity of requesting that anyone loyal to the toxic player do any such thing. The best we can hope for is that they come to terms with the notion that I’ve heard the toxic player say that it can do no wrong. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is the toxic player secretly trying to break down age-old institutions and customs? Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: It fails to see anything wrong with driving us into a state of apoplexy. This bespeaks an investment of complex psychic import. That’s why it helps to remember that we are at war. Don’t think we’re not just because you’re not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We’re at war with the toxic player’s exploitative, ophidian philippics. We’re at war with its semi-intelligible capilotades. And we’re at war with its anti-democratic, sexist histrionics. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that toxic players uses the word physicophilosophical without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. Organizations that are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.
Ummmm .... nevermind .... thanks.
