Insecurities

[Eagler]

I think an insecure ego is the root of many if not most of our modern woes..

It is the cause of most conflict of one sort or another at one level or another imo

Everything from war to the inability to discuss anything without getting personal can be blamed on it

It is our egotistical pride that we are told to feed since birth which seems to have gotten out of hand lately - praising some for doing what's expected as if it were spectacular..

Now how the ego got that insecure is another question

Be humble as we are not all we think we are

Eagler

[nopoop]

Well put eagler. Confrontation instead of discussion is a sign of inflated ego. See it here and on 200 daily. I just pass on joining in with ego inflated confrontation. Inmature an akin to thinking with your dick. At my age its just not worth my time. I left all that in my twenties.

[Busher]

Unless that "secure ego" finds its security in dunning kruger effect.

[Animl-AW]

Unless that "secure ego" finds its security in dunning kruger effect.

...of which both disorder concepts can exist in the same person, depending on the current 5 minutes.

[Animl-AW]

It is our egotistical pride that we are told to feed since birth which seems to have gotten out of hand lately - praising some for doing what's expected as if it were spectacular..

Eagler

Many of our generation raised narcissist. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

[GasTeddy]

One part of it can be called "look-at-me-and-my-doings"-culture, thanks to social media. Nintendogenerations zombiephonechildren is the result.

[fd ski]

Many of our generation raised narcissist. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

i agree that children are being raised narcissist. I'd add that free access to internet/mobile devices is screwing them up as well. But i take exception to "spare the rod..." wisdom. In my personal life i saw first hand what trauma does to young child ( and it doesn't have to be a physical one). One of the worst things you can do, is use the rod. You traumatize a child and teach it a simple value system "might makes right".  Some kids will grow up well despite all that, some won't.

It is quite possible to build an authority with your child without beating them or treating them like a little prince/princess. And to be clear, my parents used the rod, and there was a time i did too. This is one of the things i'll regret until the end of my life.
 

[GasTeddy]

i agree that children are being raised narcissist. I'd add that free access to internet/mobile devices is screwing them up as well. But i take exception to "spare the rod..." wisdom. In my personal life i saw first hand what trauma does to young child ( and it doesn't have to be a physical one). One of the worst things you can do, is use the rod. You traumatize a child and teach it a simple value system "might makes right".  Some kids will grow up well despite all that, some won't.

It is quite possible to build an authority with your child without beating them or treating them like a little prince/princess. And to be clear, my parents used the rod, and there was a time i did too. This is one of the things i'll regret until the end of my life.

Pretty much agreed. My parents were not very fond of rod, rather other methods. I have never used it either. When my son was born, I was memorizing my childhood and decided to avoid everything I considered as a mistake, my wife had similar thoughts. We managed to create polite young man with good manners, respect to nature and healthy lifestyle. Best achievement of my life for sure.

[Shamus]

Was raised in a spare the rod spoil the child household and I vowed to never lay a hand on my son in anger. He is now in his 40's and one of the nicest well adjusted guys I know, far better than his Father, of course his Mother had a bit to do with that 

[Meatwad]

I was raised in the "you screw up your momma is gonna whip you with whatever she gets her hands on". I learnt early on what happens when you do something wrong. And I have gone through just fine.

[Eagler]

The belt worked fine when we four kids drove our parents nuts..

Getting the belt for dropping to a C on a report card was over the top but that C was gone the next report card..

Time out and speaking to 3 year olds like they are 16 does not work..seen that first hand

Also the record numbers of anxiety med scripts is more than alarming

Kids 10 years old and younger are on them as both parents

When did it all get so stressful..

When did everyone start living for others approval, likes and friends request?

There has always been insecurities but not at this record levels imo

Eagler

[Animl-AW]

The saying is very old school. I don’t believe in the rod, but discipline is part of raising a well balanced child. The remark was mocking parents who use no discipline at all, afraid the child may get mad at them. We’ve over-praised them making them think they are above everyone, therefore their antics are o k. Its also rough on them to learn reality the hard way that its not. Parent vs friend.

My generation typically got the rod, which may have been over-used, which caused resentment to never use the rod (discipline) at all. So we were tainted by too much rod of the 1940s-50s concept.

We allowed them to play games internet 24/7, with no responsibilities at home.

I’ve got newbies coming into our craft who have zero work ethics. Asking them to do something is like asking them to jump off a cliff, despite they will never get a blue collar job that chokes them with so much money as a first or second job. Told to be so smart that they think everything they do and say is right, you’re wrong about everything, you’re stupid.

Our fault is not finding a balance between discipline and friend.

My wife (rip) was a friend too much, getting my son to walk 50ft to put a bag of garbage in a can was war.

My common remark when seeing the younger do something unacceptable is “well, who raised them?”. Its not always their fault they were raised to be that way.

Rod is just a saying for discipline, teaching manners and respect for others.

In our day, walking into a bar talking like that got a visit to a dentist. <shrug>

[Animl-AW]

The belt worked fine when we four kids drove our parents nuts..

Getting the belt for dropping to a C on a report card was over the top but that C was gone the next report card..

Time out and speaking to 3 year olds like they are 16 does not work..seen that first hand

Also the record numbers of anxiety med scripts is more than alarming

Kids 10 years old and younger are on them as both parents

When did it all get so stressful..

When did everyone start living for others approval, likes and friends request?

There has always been insecurities but not at this record levels imo

Eagler

I don’t agree with your politics, but I know from what I read that you mean well. This subject is where we agree. You have your mind right on this reality. Why I hate politics, it divides otherwise good people and friends. Politics, religion and taxes/income should be kept private, it saves friendships. We politically disagree, but we both have our hearts in the right place.

Peace:)

[Eagler]

I am so old - in high school after skipping 1st period the dean of boys would swat us and give us unexcused absence..and this was worth the fun we would have..

The gym coach would swat you if you missed behaved like fighting

It didn't kill any of us..didn't send us into the fetal position

This current light handed approach is causing more harm than good imo..

To the point some of those adults now think the police are the problem not the criminals..

Discipline is what makes the world go round, the absence of it gives you the youth you see today on the evening news.

This present softness/lack of discipline is one of causes of our record insecure behavior and record mental illness meds imo

Eagler

[GasTeddy]

I am so old - in high school after skipping 1st period the dean of boys would swat us and give us unexcused absence..and this was worth the fun we would have..

The gym coach would swat you if you missed behaved like fighting

It didn't kill any of us..didn't send us into the fetal position

This current light handed approach is causing more harm than good imo..

To the point some of those adults now think the police are the problem not the criminals..

Discipline is what makes the world go round, the absence of it gives you the youth you see today on the evening news.

This present softness/lack of discipline is one of causes of our record insecure behavior and record mental illness meds imo

Eagler

I pretty much agree in everything but IMHO discipline can be in most of the cases created without rod. Soft wrist jellypants parents without authority are the source of many problems and often rod and other means of violence are just creating defiance and resistance.