I remember you training people in ACM very effectively
I didn't like to see people struggling and becoming miserable and self-critical and so where I could help, I did. Once another player bought me a whole year's subscription to say thanks. Imagine that!
If not here I hope you have another outlet to share your obvious talents and abilities with others
Alas no, that path was also denied as part of my personal purgatory.
Back in the day top sticks like Nrshida, Bruv 119 and Pervert among others for the love it would take people to the TA and help people learn the skills and
I don't think I ever really broke into the first division. There was a time I was a lot of trouble in a Ki-84. But I was only doing one narrow band on the ACM spectrum and many many thousands of hours in that airframe really.
I was a slow learner
You don't even know the punchline!
I have learning disabilities to the extent I really struggle with a basic EM-diagram. Despite this in real life I managed to attain four University degrees. One of those with quite a lot of calculus in it. I am thus the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. Or is it Zardoz. Everything I knew in AH as in real-life is basically self-taught. The only person to really help me in any meaningful way was Kazaa: the FPH's FPH. Only recently did I finally understand his stratergy and approach through analysing another which was expensive.
You sound like you have become cynical
"Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist" - George Carlin.
The real horror is: rolling scissors, lag-displacement rolls, one and two-circle fights, flying your plane to 102% of its flight envelope for 80% of the time, post-stall manoeuvring, the finest controllers money can buy, all of the beautiful four-dimensional ACM - you don't need it. None of it. There is a much simpler and un-aesthetic way which will always defeat a practitioner of what amounts to flowery Kung Fu. Sometimes you wish you had never bothered to seek the truth in the first place. Far better to proceed in blissful ignorance and enjoy yourself.
But life is short and there are always beautiful things to see. Indeed, Merry Christmas old friend.