As lead 88 of the 2-ship Ju88 "Backdoor" Flight, following is my AAR (please keep the "Backdoor" element in mind, it will have special significance at the end of the mission):
Two Ju88's upped from A17, climbing East for a sector, then North for three sectors. Then we turned West, huffing and puffing to finally get to 20,000ft. As we entered the sector just off the east coast of the Southern tip of England, successfully coming in through the backdoor unmolested, I put in a call to the Gruppen Komandeur. He confirmed our target as the Radar facility at coordinates 6.9.5, and gave us the green light!
A cheer went up from the crew as we moved into position for our bomb run, wanting to go from North to South, with a quick exit over the Channel, and a safe return to base. As we crossed the coastline, the dreaded call came "Achung - Speatfiours, 10:00 level!!!" (in a very shrill, German voice I might add). My blood ran cold as I called for our formation to turn due West, and set up a rear quarter attack from the Spitfires, giving our gunners the best chance for success.
The Spitfires dove in with a series of rear-quarter slashing attacks, each one shaking our ship from stem to stern. Chucks of the Ju88 came spinning off our plane, and the damage reports came rolling in. In the second sweeping attack from the Spitfires, two of my crew were mortally wounded, leaving only KidFury and myself to carry on the fight.
KidFury fired madly at the swarming Spitfires, but the guns they armed our 88s with were almost futile against the armour of the Spitfires, and our bullets seemed to bounce off the enemy planes. I've never heard such a stream of Germanic cusswords as flowed from KidFury's mouth while he banged away at the Spitties to no avail, his Mom would have been proud
.
On the final pass of the Spitfires, I saw a stream of cannon fire penetrate the wing root, and the left wing began to fold in on itself, and I called for KidFury to bail out. I was able to hold the plane steady until I saw KidFury clear the plane, then I jumped for the hatch and hit the silk with him. We floated down into the serene English countryside, knowing the war was now over for the both of us, and guiltily feeling a little relief, our fate could have been much worse!
As we neared the ground, we saw an angry mob of what appeared to be limey farmers. They were shaking pitchforks at us, and seemed none too happy! As we surveyed the scene we saw why, the remains of our Ju88 had ploughed right into their little village, and two homes were heavily damaged and burning brightly! Expecting the worst, KidFury and I both pulled our sidearms as we alit on the ground. The angry farmers immediately jumped on KidFury before he could cock his Luger, and viciously pitchforked him to death as he lay tangled in his chute wires. As it turned out, he would be the lucky one!
I extracted myself from my parachute, and held up my hands in a plea for mercy. I was hoping they had sated their bloodlust on KidFury, and would not run me through with those nasty, bloodstained pitchforks. The farmers grabbed me roughly and stripped me down to my skivvies, shouting some limey gibberish the whole time. They tied me to the back of an old plough mule, and drug me back through the village street. Women and children stood on the sides of the street staring and laughing at me, and I was humiliated beyond belief!
After the farmers had their fun with me, they threw my battered and bruised body into a small locked shed, and I could hear them making their way to the village pub, gibbering and laughing in some strange cockney accent the whole time. As I regained my senses, I noticed one of the rear slates on the shed was loose, and was able to pry it open with a bit of work.
As I escaped over the English hillock, I was madder than a hornet, and looking to exact some revenge on someone, anyone I could get my hands on! I snuck down the vale and over a second hillock, to a beeeeoutifulllll site! A small pond lay at the bottom of this vale, and I spied the backside of a pretty limey sheep that had wondered ankle deep into the pond and was drinking lazily from the water ...
ACHUNG!!! ... zie rest of zies mission is classzefied confietenzial, authorized access only!
Respectfully submitted:
BFD (aka Dawg)
