He's a foul mouthed little dweeblet, obviously. On christmas eve I thought I'd pop into a H2H game for a quick fight or two. I entered the game (team game btw), said hello and upped in my Lightning.
I started to rack up some kills and Agent69, who was on my team says "hey you're pretty good in the p38. I love killin 38s in my temp...lets duel." Now just before this, a couple players on the other team had logged out so I was planning on switching sides at the end of my sortie. I told him " ok you'll get your chance in a minute...was gonna switch sides anyway." He replied "cool. I always kill p38s in the tempest."
I augered, switched sides, and upped again. I climbed out to 4 or 5k, got a vis on him and turned to intercept. He had vis and turned to me as well. He had a modest alt advantage and was closing quite quickly, so I knew he was faster than me too. At 1.5 I began a slow barrel roll to avoid the inevitable HO attempt, which came of course. Just before he passed over me I pulled her up into a lead loop, then rolled out onto his 6. He was at d600 and pulling away quickly so I began a shallow dive to get some speed. Instead of converting his considerable momentum into altitude, he started a hard break turn to the right.
I cut the corner and smoked him. Remebering his earlier comment about ALWAYS killin 38s I said "always huh =)" "you got lucky" he says, or some such nonsense, and demands a rematch. Round 2 was a virtual replay of round 1.
I figured that would be that, so I attacked a red B17 on its way to my base. After being relieved of a radiator and an alieron by the 17 I landed to replane. I took off and was no more than 20 ft. off the runway, gear still retracting, when I get the afore mentioned check 6 at d600 from Dweeb69. I jinked left, then reversed back to the right, not having the speed or alt to much else. He sprayed away but missed the shot completely and went zipping by me. He then proceded to do that same handsomehunk break turn to the right that got him shredded twice before. Result? Another Tempest shaped divit in the turf.
A short while later he tried to vulch me on take off again, with the same result. "Thats roadkill!" he shrieks, "there's no way you should be able to out turn me in a 38." I politely explained that he was too fast to out turn me at that point, but he would have none of it and began ranting about netlag and hex editors. I assume he was accusing me of hacking here.
Of course I was! Nobody could possibly shoot down the great Agent69 without hacking!
Apparently he figured that it was his temp that was at fault, cause he proceeded to up a spit IX and bounce me while I was engaged with a 205. I evaded his pass and got some seperation. The 205 bugged out and left Agent d800 off my 6, spraying hispano all over the place. I extended to 1.1, chopped the throttle, and split essed. He followed, trying to lead me for a shot the whole way. At d500 I was almost level from the split S, so I threw her into a hard lead turn. He overshot, lost sight of me, and I ended up d200 off his 6 and about 100ft below. Right in his blind spot.
I just stayed there for a bout 5 seconds, waiting (in vain) for him to do something...anything. A half second squirt of .50 cal and 20mm into his left wing root sent the dweebfire tumbling to the ground. I don't entirely remember, nor would I repeat the seemingly endless flow of insults, accusations, and obscenities that filled the chat buffer shortly thereafter.
He then proceeded to demand that the host change various arena settings and turn the game into a FFA. When the host refused to do so he was met with more profane outbursts and demands. By this time, I was thoroughly disgusted with this foul mouthed little imbecile. After all, it was christmas eve...peace on earth, good will toward men and all that stuff...and here he is spewing all this crap. I logged.
About the time I got my puter shut down, the disgust started to fade and it started to dawn on me just how utterly hilarious the whole episode had been. I chuckled to myself for a good 5 minutes. I would even thank him for the entertainment if he weren't such a tardling. If any of you want a good laugh, go find this guy in H2H. Kill him a few times, get some popcorn, sit back and watch the show
