Author Topic: EU announcement  (Read 307 times)

Offline thrila

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EU announcement
« on: February 08, 2002, 02:02:00 PM »
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!


P.S. this is a joke, not real

or should i say

P.S zis is a jok, not rel:D
"Willy's gone and made another,
Something like it's elder brother-
Wing tips rounded, spinner's bigger.
Unbraced tailplane ends it's figure.
One-O-nine F is it's name-
F is for futile, not for fame."

Offline mrsid2

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EU announcement
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2002, 03:03:35 PM »
The finns have been on that 3rd year level for ages already.

Offline snafu

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EU announcement
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2002, 03:35:19 PM »
The old ones are the best :D

TTFN
snafu

Offline Boroda

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EU announcement
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2002, 01:05:31 PM »
copyright belongs to Mark Twain.

This joke is more then 100 years old.

Offline Tuomio

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EU announcement
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2002, 10:58:58 AM »
Is EU that old?

Offline Saintaw

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EU announcement
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2002, 08:21:41 AM »
no, 1946. think you need to blame Churchill :D
Saw
Dirty, nasty furriner.