Author Topic: Thinking of (Read 1593 times)

Octavius · « **Reply #45 on:** February 13, 2002, 02:41:03 PM »

double post.. grr

NUTTZ · « **Reply #46 on:** February 13, 2002, 06:29:16 PM »

6 years ago I felt a "lump" on one of the 'Boys". My Dr. ordered an Ultra scan and scheduled me an apointment with a nearby hospital.

Well as we know Ultra scans are used primarily for pregnant women.

The hallway outside the scanning room was lined with "Waiting" chairs and was filled with pregnant women waiting on the Dr. (who was running late). I patiently took the last seat Grabbing and holding together the back of the "hospital garb" You know that embarrassing Backless short little piece of cloth that is MANDITORY to wear as a Patient.
ALL eyes were on me, as i looked up at the 10 or so women ahead of me, I would see one lean forward and look in my direction with a puzzled stare, Followed by another leaning forward with the same puzzled stare.

Finally we get word the Dr. has arrived and would be down shortly, Thinking to myself.."Great this embarassing moment will shortly end".
BOY, I couldn't of been any more wrong!

The Dr. Turns out to be one young, Knock down, kick bellybutton GORGIOUS lady, Sporting a low cut tight black dress, white pearl neckless. She was running late because of a dinner date, and obviously didn't have time to change.

Now directly behind her is 4 Male interns ( My guess, it was some sort of class day to learn the arts of Ultra scanning)

I lay on the table and I'm stripped of my "hospital garb" which is quickly replaced with a towel ( to Hide my "package") In all actuality the Towel had about 200% more material than the "hospital garb"

Now comes my delema,
I know the towel Must be removed and I have One Hottie of a Dr. going to wake up my boys to play. BUT, I have 4 male nurses standing behind her. Will my boys act as If i just swam in the ocean all day or wake Up and couldn't give a toejam if i was in MACY's front window?

I think at this point EVERYONE in the room was in an awkward position, so one male nurse decides if he slides the towel UP it will expose the "Boys"without exposing the "Old Man" and the Dr. can go about her business with the jelly and hand held scanner.

Now she is doing her thing with the jelly and the rubbing and the Visual of this fine looking woman, along with the sounds of all that jelly slapping around, and the touching.... well The "Old Man" made a "tent"!:)

The Dr. was VERY professional, and asked if " I felt any pain, or am i hurting you?"

I told her to look alittle higher and she would have her answer...

At that moment ALL professionalism went out the window and the 4 male Nurses Just busted their guts laughing.

That day is permanately etched in my mind.

And also a true story.

NUTTZ

gavor · « **Reply #47 on:** February 13, 2002, 06:54:02 PM »

Your story is so similar to my ultrasound experience it made me chuckle nuttz.

I remember a room full of women looking at me funny and some pregnant ladies in the halls of the clinic obviously pondering my gender confusion. I just wanted to escape. After lying on that table with gel over the cods, a towel over the main attraction and some wierd mexican guy at the controls, my embarassment threshold had been reached. I knew damn well there were several more trouser drops in my near future too.

Luckily my gf was very supportive. One of those future exams by a specialist turned out to be quite a joyous occassion. The phrase 'its just a polyp, forget about it' may not sound like a reason to party for most people, but it was sweet music to my ears.

How did it all turn out or you nuttz? I'm assuming everything was ok?

NUTTZ · « **Reply #48 on:** February 13, 2002, 07:04:42 PM »

well, since you asked, I had testicular cancer, did the radiation, the whole 9 yards (TWICE). Almost 7 years ago, The "boys" are fine:)
Reminds me of an arguement i had, somebody told me they were going to kick me in the "Balls" I told them they better have one long leg cause Ones in a landfill in Jersey!!

NUTTZ

Quote

Originally posted by gavor
Your story is so similar to my ultrasound experience it made me chuckle nuttz.

I remember a room full of women looking at me funny and some pregnant ladies in the halls of the clinic obviously pondering my gender confusion. I just wanted to escape. After lying on that table with gel over the cods, a towel over the main attraction and some wierd mexican guy at the controls, my embarassment threshold had been reached. I knew damn well there were several more trouser drops in my near future too.

Luckily my gf was very supportive. One of those future exams by a specialist turned out to be quite a joyous occassion. The phrase 'its just a polyp, forget about it' may not sound like a reason to party for most people, but it was sweet music to my ears.

How did it all turn out or you nuttz? I'm assuming everything was ok?

Elfenwolf · « **Reply #49 on:** February 13, 2002, 07:17:03 PM »

K Nuttz, I'm glad everything's OK with your junk. Pitching a tent while getting your testicles massaged by a beautiful woman is OK, just don't "free Willy" while getting your prostate examined.

gavor · « **Reply #50 on:** February 13, 2002, 07:18:04 PM »

. Sorry to hear that.

I did a LOT of reading about it at the time. Its one of the most survivable cancers if caught in time, i'm happy to hear you're ok now. That land fill story made me chuckle

.

Last year after a few pints I told a few mates about it and to my surprise I found that 2 out of 4 had also been to the doc about something similar(luckily, no cancers). Out of those 2, one had done the whole ultrasound thing as well.

Check up on the boys sometimes guys or you may find the doc will have to whip em off. Or worse yet, no actually I dont wanna say it.

Saintaw · « **Reply #51 on:** February 14, 2002, 01:15:05 AM »

I'm just praying I NEVER have to go through this kind of option.
This thread hurt, just readin' it!!!:eek:

easymo · « **Reply #52 on:** February 14, 2002, 02:48:36 AM »

HB after reading some of the posts from your kindergarten class, in the general forum. It all falls into place.

Apar · « **Reply #53 on:** February 14, 2002, 04:47:03 AM »

Reading this posts makes me more determined not to have it done.

milnko · « **Reply #54 on:** February 14, 2002, 07:25:30 AM »

I couldn't help but notice that more then one poster whos had the "procedure" had it set up or arranged by his wife... hmmm, interesting.

My wife had my two dogs and cat neutered. Seems like women see a pair of danglers and want 'em lopped off... hmmm, interesting.

I flat out refused when the wife "suggested" the idea. I just don't want my JOHNSON to mimic the .303 rounds of AH.

On a final note, I think it's a good idea for you tho HB, I hear after the "operation" you won't want to cross the street, or wander as much, all you'll want to do is just lay around the house.

Lemme know if ya suddenly get a hankerin' for liver flavored Friskies.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #55 on:** February 14, 2002, 08:15:15 AM »

weeeeelll Hblair...I sucked up my "pride" when it came to the point of having to use a condom everytime with the wife, I compare it to putting Saran wrap on ones tongue prior to eating Banana cream pie.

We DID NOT, nor could afford, another child. Having her *fixed* is alot longer and complicated procedure. After 2 years of condoms, I dropped to the knife.

StSanta · « **Reply #56 on:** February 14, 2002, 10:18:28 AM »

Heh guys, there is no reason to be embarrased when visiting a doc, even a young, good looking blonde one.

They've seen it all.

Sis is now working at an ER. She says that she now knows more about people than most, and that only occasionally is she surprised - and she's only been there for 3 months.

Some examples

A married couple comes in - the man is obviously having trouble walking. Turns out that during one of their sexual games, the woman had accidentally inserted a dildo into her partner a wee bit too far - and couldn't get it out. My sis response: she's thinking of asking dildo manufacturers to put a hook at the end of dildos, so medical personnel have an easier time removing them. Apparently, it's not the first time it's happened.

Now to a really disgusting thing: A gay man comes in with an ambulance - he doesn't seem to be needing one. There's a big towel wrapped around his rear. So they examine him, first removing the towel.

Stuck into his rear is one of them things you clean toilets with. Fortunately the brush end is the one outside the man's body. Unfortunately for this poor man, there's a bit of a hook on the other end, for hanging it on the wall with or something. This one has caught into some of the inner lining of the gut, and is stuck. Just ripping it out would lead to massive internal injuries - hence the ambulance.

A nuts check isn't too bad in comparison

Curval · « **Reply #57 on:** February 14, 2002, 10:59:48 AM »

LOL....

I saw one in an e-mail a while back...

A couple walked into emergency...the woman had her head wrapped in bloody hand towels and the man had a huge bloodstain around his crotch and was pressing a bloody hand towel to his groin area.

The story was...

The woman decided to give the man oral sex after they had finnished eating at a local restaurant. She slipped under the table cloth and began to perform on the guy. The problem was that she had an epileptic fit while doing so. Her jaws clampted around the man's noodle biting down hard in the throads of the epileptic fit. The man, screaming and desparate to get the woman off his noodle picked up a desert fork and began stabbing the woman in the head in a bid to get her to release his now bleeding member. When the fit ended they were ambulanced off to the hospital.

...probably an urban myth...but funny nonetheless.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #58 on:** February 14, 2002, 11:04:35 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Curval
LOL....

I saw one in an e-mail a while back...

A couple walked into emergency...the woman had her head wrapped in bloody hand towels and the man had a huge bloodstain around his crotch and was pressing a bloody hand towel to his groin area.

The story was...

The woman decided to give the man oral sex after they had finnished eating at a local restaurant. She slipped under the table cloth and began to perform on the guy. The problem was that she had an epileptic fit while doing so. Her jaws clampted around the man's noodle biting down hard in the throads of the epileptic fit. The man, screaming and desparate to get the woman off his noodle picked up a desert fork and began stabbing the woman in the head in a bid to get her to release his now bleeding member. When the fit ended they were ambulanced off to the hospital.

...probably an urban myth...but funny nonetheless.

OUCH! Related story in this mornings paper, anyone missing a noodle? (Rip checks wedding tackle...)

http://www.theindependent.com/stories/021302/new_hastingspart13.html

Raubvogel · « **Reply #59 on:** February 14, 2002, 11:32:18 AM »

Quote

While this incident could be the result of an accidental act

That's one hell of an accident.