Snowball,
Beware the WBs freehost. Its very illegal.
AH H2H is, of course, quite legal.
Harder does not mean "more realistic". Harder simply means harder.
For example, fly AH or WB with no icons. That would be much harder than reality. You're situational awareness would be as one almost legaly blind, from DMV's perspective. Our eyes have a far better resolution and depth perception than the best current hardware can manage.
Remember, these aircraft were being flown by 18-20 year old boys, sometimes with mere days of training. Some of those German, Japanese and Russian boys with nearly no training went on to be aces.
Think of how many aircraft that didn't come home were hit with far fewer rounds than those that luck ones you describe. The problem with your argument is that it takes what are anomolies and uses them as the standard.
AH has the damage set to what the designers think is realistic.
I feel that this is the area the has the most room for improvement given current technology.