p.s.  pongo your post concerning my banishment ( the one that mentioned my anger problems without saying i was evil) was very helpful. sort of made me see the even my friends thought i was loosin it .and should go away , well it ment alot i never got a chance to say so . thanks. 
 as you can guess i was abused as a kid for a while ( beat up not sexual ) and i guess when life gets hard i get weak.and display my weakness as aggresion . hope i have  changed that. 
and all the others who had a kind word thanks.