Why I love working in tech support.

[Thrawn]

Because I get to talk to the most imbecilic morons on the face of the entire F#$$ing planet!!!!:mad:

We now return you to your regularly scheduled squeaking about the middle-east.

[Tac]

I hear ya.


'No sir, that is not a cupholder, its your DVD-ROM'

[Wlfgng]

"I  AM turning on the computer!!!... the button is right on the screen!!!"

[Thrawn]

Me: "Please type in "Ping" sir.  That's P as in Papa."

Dolt: "P as in Papa"

Me: "I as in India"

Dolt: "That's Y as in India"

Me: "No Sir, that's I as in Igloo"

Dolt: "Okay, I"

Me: "N as in November"

Dolt: "N as in November"

Me: "G as in Golf"

Dolt: "G as in Gold"

I then have him type in a URL and hit enter.  The response is "Command not found".

Me: "What command did you type in sir?"

Dolt: "The one you told be to."

Me: "Which is?"

Dolt: "Eing"

Me: "Sir, please stop wasting my precious oxygen.  You are too stupid to live."

Dolt: "Yes...yes I am."

[MrBill]

Having just un-retired and started working tech support for a local isp.  I had a nice conversation with a client this week.  After looking up her pop3 name and password for her, she argued with me that they couldn't be correct because she couldn't get into her hotmail account with them.
  The idiots never ceases to amaze me.

[Wlfgng]

"no Mam.. it isn't like a refrigerator ...
please take the magnets off the computer"

[Gman]

"I don't HAVE a start button".

[Thrawn]

Originally posted by Gman
"I don't HAVE a start button".

Are running a Mac, sir?


I'm tech KING!!:D

[Gman]

What is this "Mac" you reffer to?

Is that a sandwich available at McDonalds?

.

Nice work, btw .

[Thrawn]

Thanks!

Don't use Macs myself, but they are dead simple to suport, when it comes to internet connectivity.

[AKIron]

Excel class (Windows knowledge prerequisite)

her: "my mouse doesn't work"

trainer: "show me"

her: picks up mouse, moves it and sets it down

trainer: tries very hard, unsuccessfully, not to laugh

[LePaul]

I work for tech support as well.

Some days are good, others are nightmares.  Death by telephone is how I describe my job.

There are some folks who just should not be near a computer.  These are the people who call me, accuse my program of being too hard to use and then realize I do not make the program they are having trouble with.

My boss completely understands the hassles I endure and how patient I try to be with these folks.  For that, and since we are out in the outskirts of town, he bought me a nice BB gun to pelt away at squirels and birds.  

So, if you call me for tech support and hear a pumping sound, a small *popping* sound and a squealing squirrel......  

[SirLoin]

Lol Thrawn!..You forgot to mention you are paid in Canadian dollars..err..peso's.....But our beer quality makes up for that loss in exchange..

[Thrawn]

Originally posted by SirLoin
Lol Thrawn!..You forgot to mention you are paid in Canadian dollars..err..peso's.....But our beer quality makes up for that loss in exchange..

And that Sir, is the exact reason why the large corporation I work for, is openning offices all across Canada.

Why pay an American $12 is american, when you can pay a Canadian $12 in canadian.

[GtoRA2]

So I was working at UMAX doing scanner tech support, and I get this woman who calls, seems she can't get her scanner detected.

Now this is for the old UMAX S6E a SCSI scanner and they came with a jumperless ISA scsi card.

You had to pop the card in a slot and run a install, hook the scanner up and your all set.

Now the scanning software has a little diagnostic tool that tells you where some problems can lie and I have her run it. It comes back with an error, basicaly saying no card detected.

"ma'am did you install the card in your computer?"

The woman "of course I did, but it didnt seem to fit"

Me "ok describe how you did it" (my second week on the job)

Her "well I took the plastic case off and put it inside, but I couldn't find where it went"

Me"Your computer has a plastic case?"

her "Yes it does, and I can't beleave you make a product I have to put together"

Me "well Putting a card in your computer is not a hard thing"

her "what do you mean, my computer?"

me "welll you did put the card in your computer right?"

her "NO I did not! I put it in the scanner! I am not taking my computer apart!" (she is a bit miffed at this point)

me "where did you put the card in our scanner??"

her "well I just layed it down inside!"

At this point she has to go on hold cause I have to laugh almost to the point of crying!


So I have now been doing support for 6 years and boy do I have some zingers! lol Thank god UMAX is way in the past though!