Author Topic: Why I love working in tech support. (Read 1327 times)

Tac · « **Reply #15 on:** April 12, 2002, 11:33:52 PM »

This is one of mine

2 hours troubleshooting a client that adamantly REFUSED to take his PC to the store to get fixed, because it had been taken 2 times before for the same issue and it remained unfixed. Per company policy I couldnt hang up (and the basterd supervisor was tapping me)..

Well, the whole thing was that this guy was saying his computer would turn off by itself when he wanted to bring it out of stand-by mode. I couldnt dissuade him from not using stand-by mode, so we had to go through all the damn t-shooting and nothing seemed to be out of order. I even had him take the mouse ball off the mouse to make extra sure the mouse wasnt activating the glitch because he moved it (the guy was totally clueless and I was desperate to try anything, no matter how stupid it seemed).

"Son, why are we taking this little ball out again?"

"To make sure moving the mouse isnt giving the computer a signal sir" (ya, we do BS talk a lot)

"What? What do you mean this little thing is doing that? Thats ridiculous. Listen kid, weve been at this for 2 damn hours blablblabla I only want the thing to turn off by its proper way, the start shutdown thingy.."

*grrr*

"...and not this thing that every time I press the damn little button on the hard disk (they all call the computer case & its innards "hard disk") it turns off by itself.

*WTF!*

"Sir you're telling me that you're trying to bring the computer out of standby by pressing the button on the box, not by pressing a key or moving the mouse?"

"Hell no! Thats what that button is there, just like my teevee"

AAAAARRGHHHHHHHHH

The moron was pressing the reset/power shutdown button. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.

715 · « **Reply #16 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:06:20 AM »

Funny. My experience with tech support has been just the opposite. People where I work come to me with software problems. Almost 100% of the time the problem is not their fault. I tell them that what they want to accomplish, which should be possible and supported by the software, doesn't actually work, because the software is a worthless piece of crud written by contract programmers in Bangladesh. They then get angry with me because they think I am just trying to get out of teaching them what they are doing wrong. Then they call or email tech support and the person on the other end generally is completely clueless- asking them stupid irrelevant questions or claiming the problem is their fault for having incompatible drivers (anything to make them go away or deflect the problem to some other vendor).

But I guess the dozen or so cases that I have seen go this way are just anomalous and what you guys say is correct: all computer software and hardware is perfect and the user base (your customers) are 100% idiots and morons.

The computer field, especially software, is truly amazing. I suspect in no other endeavor do the vendors have such vitriolic blind contempt for their own customers, who keep them in business.

AKDejaVu · « **Reply #17 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:09:05 AM »

Ahhh... yes... its always the customer.

I do remember when I bought my Voodoo 3 video card.

Me: Yes, my video locks up after being on for 3 minutes. Its very consistant.
Tech: Have you tried rebooting your computer?
Me: Yes. Every time it locks up.
Tech: Reboot it again and see if the problem is still there.
Me: OK... rebooted... the problem is still there.
Tech: De-install your drivers and then re-install them.
Me: OK... I'll try that again.
Me: Done... still locks up.
Tech: Try rebooting again.
Me: OK.. still locks up.
Tech: You'll have to buy a fan for the chip on the video card... its overheating.
Me: Overheating after 3 minutes?
Tech: Yes, its a problem with the card.
Me: Do you sell a fan for it?
Tech: No.
Me: What do I use for a fan then?
Tech: We recommend zip-tieing an i486 fan to the unit.
Me: One more question... why did you have me reboot my computer 8 times?
Tech: Sometimes that solves the problem.

Or...

Me: Yes, I'm having problems calibrating my joystick under NT 4.0.
MSTech: NT 4.0 does not support analog joysticks.
Me: Then why did you include a driver for analog joysticks?
MSTech: We didn't. There is no joystick driver for NT 4.0.
Me: Then what is this file called joystick driver?
MSTech: Oh. Let me check with a supervisor.
MSTech: OK.. it seems we do have a joystick driver. What's the problem.
Me: It doesn't work.
MSTech: We don't support joysticks under NT 4.0.
Me: A driver written by your company does not work. Do you support that?
MSTech: Well... ummmm... I guess... just a sec.
MSTech: I have to transfer you to level 2 tech support. There is a $97 fee for that.
Me: Figures.

After coughing up the dough... 6 months later I am rewarded with a simple bullet in SP 5: "Fixed axis out of band error in joystick.dll"

Its been very rare that tech support has been of any help. Its strange... but I swear its a certain % of people that are just completely clueless. I see it when I call tech support. Tech support sees it when they are called.

AKDejaVu

steely07 · « **Reply #18 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:15:31 AM »

customer:"windows says it can't see any printers attached to my computer,i've put the printer right in front of the screen,what could be wrong?"
me "could you hold a second please",wipes spittle off screen and composes self....

Nash · « **Reply #19 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:18:58 AM »

I listened to a sitaution about tech support... something local.... but man, it has all the makings of urban legend so I'm highly skeptical. The tech support guy ended up getting fired. Have any of you heard this or a variation of it?:

A tech support guy was trying to help this woman through her problems with a computer she just bought. I forget exactly what she was saying, but finally the tech guy said "Ok, I understand. What you need to do is put that computer back in its box and march it down to the store you bought it from and ask for a refund".

She says somethething like "Ah ok, so what is the problem then? What do I tell the people at the store when I return it?"

He says "Tell them you are too shrecking stupid to operate a computer".

GtoRA2 · « **Reply #20 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:26:23 AM »

715
no software is perfect, and not all problems are solvable, tech support is a pretty complicated thing with so many computer configuratiuons out there.

You saying all tech support is aragant and hates there customers is pretty rude to tech support people and assuming this thread is about anyone who calls support does not make sense.

Do support people have contempt for their customers? Yes we do, sometimes, but only the ones who are total idiots.

The ones who will not help themselves by reading the damn manaul.

The ones who claim it is not there computer, then go and get the right video drivers or DX and it works.

Most customers are fine and I am happy to help them, and I like being able to solve Their problems.

I also like geting a customers to help in tracking down a bug so we can fix it.

Try the job before you go critisising the people who do it. Or at least don't lump all support together, there are good support departments and bad one just like there are good customers and bad ones.

All I ask of a customer is that they follow directions, and I keep it simple, if they can't do that they are clueles.

Oh one more thing, How good of support do you think you are going to get on software sold for 50 bucks, with a 5 buck margin when an average support call cost 8bucks or more?

AKDejaVu
Damn thats is pretty bad in both cases, and sucks, lol I bet both where outsource houses.

the ONE time I ever called support I waited like an hour on the phone to Linksys, and when I finaly got them they fixed my problem in less then ten minutes, no BS, I was so impressed I didnt even give him toejam about the hold times.

Voss · « **Reply #21 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:26:50 AM »

I've heard that too, nash, but I'm betting on urban legend. Tech support guys aren't that stupid.

Wlfgng · « **Reply #22 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:50:54 AM »

couldn't do tech support

nu uh.. no way

not that kind anyway. I'd get fired

Kanth · « **Reply #23 on:** April 13, 2002, 12:57:19 AM »

1) I can't find my start bar
(autohide handsomehunk)

2) My hard drive crashed it says invalid system disk
(pull the floppy out and hit enter)

3) The internet is down
(I highly doubt it, it's probably just you)

4) cannot process report
(remove the binder that is resting on all the function keys, can't you hear that friggen incessant beeping noise?????)

5) Cannot access Word
(It's in the recycle bin)
6) I didnt' put it there
(yes, yes you did handsomehunk, don't lie)
7) Someone must be breaking into my office and putting it in there
(you are completely insane)
8) I demand a new door lock
(I don't do door locks buh freako)

It never stops....

Kanth
"I have a quick question"

Tac · « **Reply #24 on:** April 13, 2002, 01:09:20 AM »

Can I get that part mailed to me next day air?

No?

why not? im a paying costumer! I demand blablablablablabla

what? I have to pay the cost of next day air to get it rushed to me?

how much?

2 dollars.. umm.. ok forget it, send it regular mail.

*click*

Fishu · « **Reply #25 on:** April 13, 2002, 01:24:48 AM »

Some weeks after I had got ADSL, I couldn't get to net and called tech support.
I describe the problem and then tech supporter tells me to dial with the ADSL at a dial-up number and try login in there to check my account.

I ask from her that how am I supposed to call with ADSL, when it's static connection and you can't even call to a number with ADSL.

she gets bit unsure sounding and unsurely says something about one needs to dial to a number to get connected to the internet.

Then I tell once again that you can't call with ADSL, thats for modems and ISDN's.

She then replies that is what she was told and was told to say..

well great.. customer teaching tech support?

anyway, she passed information to somewhere else and later came out there was some setting wrong for my connection at the ISP.

bloom25 · « **Reply #26 on:** April 13, 2002, 01:46:00 AM »

http://www.techtales.com

Thrawn · « **Reply #27 on:** April 13, 2002, 02:22:26 AM »

Deja and Fishu, you comprise approx. 1% of my calls. I LOVE people like you, providing you are willing to listen to me. If I get knowledgable people calling, I let policy ride. As the call is going take about 10% of the time it normally will take.

But realise this...you are the exception.

Me: "How can I help you?"

Not so Dolt: "Look, I've all ready rebooted my computer, and have power cycled my modem at the same time. I've also have a valid IP address, and have pinged out. I've run a trace route and you appear to have a router problem. The actual physical location of the router that is having difficulty is here.... Can you get the NOC guys to look into it?"

Me: "YES, SIR!"

Kanth · « **Reply #28 on:** April 13, 2002, 02:36:57 AM »

These types of people do not exist.

unless you add that they also switched out their monitor, stepped on their mouse and tried deleting things that looked suspicious.

Kanthy

Quote

Originally posted by Thrawn

Not so Dolt: "Look, I've all ready rebooted my computer, and have power cycled my modem at the same time. I've also have a valid IP address, and have pinged out. I've run a trace route and you appear to have a router problem. The actual physical location of the router that is having difficulty is here.... Can you get the NOC guys to look into it?"

AKDejaVu · « **Reply #29 on:** April 13, 2002, 10:33:54 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Thrawn
Deja and Fishu, you comprise approx. 1% of my calls. I LOVE people like you, providing you are willing to listen to me. If I get knowledgable people calling, I let policy ride. As the call is going take about 10% of the time it normally will take.

But realise this...you are the exception.

Just so you also realize that good tech support is just about as rare. I love it when someone actually walks me through a problem... I just can't remember it happening more than two times.

To be honest... half the people who frequent these boards probably know more than 90% of the tech support people out there. You just seldomely hear from them because they'd just assume knaw off their right arm as waste 2 hours on the phone just to ask if they tried re-booting.

AKDejaVu