Why I love working in tech support.

[Maniac]

LOL!

Ive sent out countless of manuals wich contains pictures in them by email. I usually get 1-2 calls (1-2 of 150 users might not be bad) saying, "nothing happens when i click on the icon!!!!" and the handsomehunkes are clicking on the icon in the manual wich i sent by mail lol!!!

[StSanta]

I don't work in support. I sort of work in development.

If you think helping users with using the software they've purchased, you try getting them to *define* what they need.

It's close to impossible. Right now we're doing a system that'll remotely control any number of devices on a number of servers and scalable to several thousand users. Or rather, this was what we were initially specified to do.

We've just finished the third iteration and have implemented most of the basic architechture - still a good way from done though. We show it to the users...

The first request we get:

"can it make coffee?".

I mean, the concept here is a bit beyond making coffee.

In the end however, what do you think we have to do? You guessed it: right now, we're writing an interface to a stupid idiotic 'smart' coffee machine, so our users can check in on the coffee machine and order coffee.

I hope some day one of you get to work as tech support on *my* program, my code. That would be a good punishment for flying allied planes.

[AKIron]

Having worked with computers for many years both professionally and as a hobby I often find myself with a smug if not arrogant attitude towards those with little or poor computer knowledge/skill. When I catch myself doing this I remind myself that many/most people find satisfaction in and are good at other things. Usually helps me to be more tolerant, for about 2 minutes.

[Ripsnort]

Try to imagine, for a moment, supporting a technical line where your customers are 10,000 engineers and 15,000 technical drafters, and the software they use is one that builds military and commercial aircraft.  Now, imagine 5,000 of those engineers are 50+ yrs old, hate new technology, would rather draft in pen and paper. Then imagine that 80% of the calls are considered "training issues"...ever try to train someone that thinks they already know it all!? Thankfully, I only man the user line one day a week!

[GtoRA2]

Ok here is one of the worst... GOD I hate people like this.

So here I am minding my own business at work, when I get a call from the front desk, it seems a customer is upset and wants to speak to a supervisor, and well that’s me.

The customer I will refer to as DR. Dick.  He is old, southern and stupid, on top of that he like to exaggerate or out and out lie.

 So I take the call and he is very upset because he has two products, and we do not support them.  (They are very old, and we stopped support on them like last year)
So he wants me to either get the old products to work, or give him our new software for free, now company policy says no free upgrades, PERIOD.  It also comes out that he has had the older products well over a year!

I tell him sorry, no we can not upgrade you and no we will not, give you a refund on products that have been discontinued. We go back and forth for about 30 minutes, with him saying things like “well John, if you don’t give me Your latest product for free now I am going to demand my money back on all your products, and all my time and I am a doctor so that’s going to cost you big time! I end the call with a final no, and he immediately calls the front desk again( I am writing an email to the front desk person as he calls) and demands our company lawyer or the president.
 
Instead he gets our division VP, and he caves and emails me telling me to send this joker, our two latest products for free.  I want to scream and pull my hair out! I had to go outside and relax… I email my direct boss and explained as soon as we send this guy out the free stuff he is going to be calling back because he just does not understand how to use them. It does no good and I have the software shipped.

5 days later he is calling the front desk.  I trouble shoot the software, but he wont try it in his top of the line system, and it is not running well on a p2 233 with 98FE. I tell him sorry your out of luck, so does my boss. The guys starts to threaten to sue, and demands a full refund for all his products! Even the ones he didn’t pay for!

Ok now we cave again and our going to give him his money back on the things he paid for so I call him, and he went out and bought another product from us! LoL! After all his bad mouthing us he buys us again!  but he wants to return the new product and keep one of the other products and wait for us to release XP drivers for it…

That’s where it sits now, we have XP drivers out and he has not called,  but he will…. And I am sure it will suck. LoL he is so bad everyone knows him by name! The president even talked to him once and now refused to ever again!

[AKDejaVu]

So... I'm sitting at my computer and a message pops up saying "Press OK to install".  This is odd since I was just browsing my e-mail.  With the window still open, I called IT.

Me:  I just had a window pop up asking me if I wanted to install something.  It doesn't tell me what is to be installed.  This window just popped up on its own... not because I was trying to actually install anything.

IT:  Its probably just a patch we are trying to install.

Me:  Probably?  I didn't receive notification that you were going to be installing anything.

IT:  I don't think anything was sent out.

Me:  There's nothing in this window telling me what is going on... it just popped up out of the blue.

IT:  Well.. its says "IT" in the upper lefthand corner doesn't it?

Me:  Well... that's not a very exclusive term.

IT:  I don't see what the problem is.

Me: The problem is that I have a dialog box of unknown origin popping up asking me if I want to install some unknown program.  You don't see a problem with me being conditioned to just click "OK" on that?

IT:  I see your point.  But there's nothing we can really do about that.. just click OK to install it.

Me:  How about this... you get more descriptive with who is sending it.  You notify us that it is coming down the pipe.  And you try to avoid a situation where pressing "OK" to an install program is not an automatic reaction?

Maybe my problem is that I usually am conversing with the level 1 techies.  To be honest.. if I get the feeling that this person is typing into a database and waiting for a path forward response... I know I'm in for a long ride.  I try not to get frustrated... and I try to do exactly what they say just in case I was the complete idiot at some point... but... it just doesn't happen that way too often.

One thing I have found... is when companies actively monitor tech support e-mail... I've usually gotten very good responses.  Its the fricking "screeners" that most have set up to answer the phone that really set me off.

AKDejaVu

[Arfann]

I've worked tech/cust service in two different areas (high end audio and light industrial equipment).  My boss at one job said something that I'll remember forever.  I had been beating my head against the wall trying to appease a  total bellybutton with an audio problem. The boss stopped by and was listening in.  He took over the phone and politely told the fool to return all of our products for refund and go buy something easy to use like B&O.  After hanging up he said "Sometimes you just have to fire the customer".

[Dux]

I work in a Technical Publications group as an artist, and because I know what I'm doing, someone is always asking me to help figure out what is wrong with their system.

Me: okay, so tell me what's wrong...
Them: the file is corrupt, or maybe the fonts need reloading, it won't print!
Me: show me.
(they open the file. warning messages pop up, but before I can even read them, they've "okay"ed through them)
Me: Whoooaa whoa... what did those warnings say?
Them: What warnings?
Me: those boxes that you hit "okay" on...
Them: I don't know, they always pop up.

Gaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!  

Funny... my computers always seem to work fine.

The really maddening thing is: people like this will not always ask, they'll just go to the supervisors and whine about how nothing works correctly and how everything is buggy, and the next thing you know, a Task Force has been formed, made up of equally clueless retards, and they're going to "solve" all of our non-existent "problems" by scrapping all of our current software versions, fonts, drivers, etc., with brand new unproven versions.

They know enough to leave my machines alone though

[midnight Target]

Sometimes CS is wonderful......

I own an E-machine, and needed a power supply. Well it turns out that E-machines use E-machine power supplies exclusively due to the size limitation......anyway after the frustration of finding that little tidbit out I called E-machines for the part.

Me: Can you send that next day air, I will pay the freight.

CS: Yes we could do that, but I would suggest you don't. We'll get it out right away.

ME: (sceptically) OK.

It arrived the in 2 days! UPS ground. I was impressed.

[Maniac]

Well sometimes this work truly is wonderful

Right now im sitting at home with an "lasercanon" (dunno whats it called in english, laserprojector?) so i have the whole livingroom wall as an computer screen hehe!

Gonna play some Day of defeat now

The only sad part is that i have to bring it back to work tomorrow

[Turbot]

This was a great thread I found in the archive-

Probably the number one problem I run across is people saying "I got my computer home and now the internet won't work!"  (In a tone like they expect I broke something)   Then I ask them "what hole in the back of the computer did you plug the phone wire into?"   they say something like "Does that matter?" or "oops!".  

Same with video card upgrades.

Now I cover up slots and put big labels on back of the machines  "Plug X Here"  or "Dont Use"  That catches about 85% of it

[gofaster]

A buddy of mine worked in the same company I do, but he worked help desk while I worked commercial/corporate contracts.

One day I asked him how his work was coming along and he threw out a couple of good stories.

First one:
Its a Saturday night, pretty slow for corporate help desk support, so he gets a consumer call routed to him by a lady trying to install a cd-rom drive into a laptop bay.

Him: "IBM, how may I help you."
Her: "I'm trying to install this cd-rom drive into my Toshiba laptop."
Him: "Ma'am, you know this is IBM, right?"
Her: "Yes, but I couldn't get through to Toshiba so I called you."

Second one:
Its a Friday afternoon and a corporate customer is calling about problems they're having accessing the network.

Him: "IBM, how may I help you."
Customer: "We're having trouble getting a connection onto the network."
Him: "We?"
Customer: "Yes, one of my guys is here with me.  Hold on, I'll put you on my speaker phone so we can all talk."
Him: "Ok."
Customer: "Can you hear me ok?  Good.  We tried (insert logical though process here) but its not getting a connection."
Him: "Has this happened before?"
Customer: "Its not unusual...(restarts thought process)...its not usual..."
And right then the guy in the back breaks into a dead-perfect Tom Jones impersonation "...its not unusual to be loved by anyone...."

[Krusher]

Originally posted by Thrawn
Because I get to talk to the most imbecilic morons on the face of the entire F#$$ing planet!!!!:mad:

We now return you to your regularly scheduled squeaking about the middle-east.

We dont have any tech support people on staff anymore. They entire help desk was fired and all the jobs sent to Canada..

You got the jobs and the jerks

[jdm3]

Owning and operating a small business, I certainly understand all the problems that go with the general population and computers.  Usually, as in 99% of the time, the problem is right there between the keyboard and the chair.  If it isn't that, then an invalid mouse operator may be to blame.  Anyway, you all may enjoy this URL I found:

http://www.phonelosers.org/techsupport/index.html

Enjoy

[Thrawn]

Originally posted by Krusher


We dont have any tech support people on staff anymore. They entire help desk was fired and all the jobs sent to Canada..

You got the jobs and the jerks

This is true, I can honestly say that I'm stealing jobs from Americans.  Of course it was an American company that located its office here.