Rude, because others sometimes disagree with your choices, I wonder if a more objective scoring system might be fairer. So, in an effort to make sure all whiners get their just recognition, I would like to propose the following scoring system as a start:
Award 1 point for each use of the following terms: “vultch”, “HO”, “spit”, “NIKI”, “La-7”, “gangbang”, “uber”, “kill stealing”, and “chute shooting”.
Give ‘em another 5 points if the first sentence reads, “This may seem like I’m whining, but I’m not...”
Add another 5 points if the author got killed in the MA and immediately came here to whine about it.
Does the post mention the way collisions are modeled? If so, add another 2 points.
Add 1 point if there is excessive use of smilies, exclamation points and different colored text.
Add 10 points if there is an overall whimpering and sniveling quality to the post.
Subtract 5 points if the post is in the appropriate forum. For example, whining about a bug in the “bug reports” forum will cost you 5.
If all words are spelled correctly and capitalization, punctuation, and paragraph breaks are used appropriately, subtract 5 points.
Add 5 points each time the author contradicts himself or changes his story.
Add 10 points if the author flies Luftwaffe planes exclusively (on general principle).
Add 5 points if the author attempts to give advice to HTC on how to run their business. Add 10 points if the author tries to give programming advice to HiTech -- 20 points if such advice includes the phrase, “This would be really easy to program…”
Does the author show any semblance of a sense of humor or sarcasm? If so, big mistake—you loose 15 points.
Subtract another 5 points if the post contains a screenshot or film that confirms what the author is whining about really happened. But add 10 points if the attached screenshot or film actually contradicts what the author says happened. Subtract 25 points if it contains porn.
Subtract 5 points if the author cites research or documentation to back up his whining. But add 5 points if this documentation is a Hollywood movie; 10 points if the movie is “Top Gun”.
Subtract 10 points if the author is a real pilot and actually knows what he is talking about. 25 points if he is a military pilot. 100 points if he is a WWII veteran.
Add 5 points if the author threatens to beat up another player. Make that 10 points if the author also claims to be a martial arts expert.
Bonus points: Add 5 points each time the author posts a follow-up message repeating what has already been said without adding anything new.
SCORE:
< 5: may not even be a whine
5-15: average whine, don’t waste our time
16-30: impressive whine, worthy of notice
31-50: extraordinary whine, the work of a real craftsman
>50: an epic whine, a true masterpiece
