Author Topic: The Germans were serious about invading England  (Read 349 times)

Offline Angus

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The Germans were serious about invading England
« on: May 15, 2002, 07:16:11 AM »
Did anyone see this before?
Great read :D

Guidelines for the
behaviour of troops in England.
   
1. The Englishman sulfers from a certain lack of imagination when faced with  new situations. Therefore he reacts more slowly to given instructions or inquiries than do most European peoples. His slowness in reaction is not necessarily malevolent.

2. The greatest strength of the Englishman is to appear ignorant (stupid). He is a master at questioning others while not giving away anything of himself; When he disagrees he almost always has a hidden purpose. Mostly by disagreeing he wants to get others to speak.

3. The Englisbman doesn't like to say yes or no, he doesn’t like to commit himself and is a master at the art of evasion. Instead of yes he likes to say: ‘It’s possible', instead of no: ‘It might be difficult.' The Englishman will not tell others, even when they ask, that they have done something wrong, he doesn’t correct.

4. The Englishman is very reserved. Pushiness is considered in bad taste in England. It is considered extremely tactless to intrude in another’s domain, or to push oneself upon someone. That explains the cool attitude to strangers. Compared to the Englishman the Scotsman is avowedly taciturn, the Welsh-man is much more open-minded and temperamental. With him one has to watch his cunning.

5. The Englishman is used to having even orders and instructions preceded with the word ‘Please’. whereas the word ‘verboten’ will automaticaUy arouse resistance in him.

6. Extreme friendliness and humour especially pay off with members of the public (lower class). With a joke one achieves more than with an order when dealing with a workman.

7. The working-claas man, when handled with reserve and friendliness, is easily trusted (won over). He is then reliable up to a certain level and will be grateful for being treated decently.

8. The English woman of all classes is used to an unusual amount of consideration and courtesy from the opposite sex.
It was very interesting to carry out the flight trials at Rechlin with the Spitfire and the Hurricane. Both types are very simple to fly compared to our aircraft, and childishly easy to take-off and land. (Werner Mölders)

Offline Esme

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Re: The Germans were serious about invading England
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2002, 07:48:45 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Angus

8. The English woman of all classes is used to an unusual amount of consideration and courtesy from the opposite sex.


Go far enough back in history, and my great-ever-so-many-times-great granny will have helped flay alive some warrior unfurtunate enough to have been in a raid that failed to overrun her village and even more unfortuante in neither managing to run away or die fighting.

Then they used to hang the hides on the walls surrounding the village  as a dire warning to any other would-be attackers. Fair does, considering what is usually the fate of women captured in war, I feel.

I note that such suitable treatment of would-be attackers by women has been made illegal in the UK whereas warfare hasn't. Men are SUCH wusses and spoilsports!  But perhaps this explains why they're (generally) polite to us. They fear what we'll do to 'em if they aren't!

;-)

Esme

PS: the Fox's advert about chocolate (currently on TV in the UK) must've been ceated by a man. Any woman would know that white chocolate just doesnt have the same effect on mood. So if you value your hide and her sanity, don't buy her white chocolate unless you KNOW she prefers it, guys!

Offline Don

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The Germans were serious about invading England
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2002, 03:32:41 PM »
>>Any woman would know that white chocolate just doesnt have the same effect on mood. <<

Awww gee! something else I gotta know! ;(
Who knew?! How in blazes is a guy supposed to know this?
Mood!? White chocolate and brown chocolate?
Too much information, overload, overload....5 minutes til self destruct!

Offline SOLAS

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The Germans were serious about invading England
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2002, 06:36:11 AM »
General Erwin Rommel surveys the defenses outside of Tobruk. In the background, the Übermensch Solas flies a patrol. (Photo circa February 2041.)

The eagle flies up towards the sun
High above the fields of babylon
In one claw he holds an olive branch for peace
In the other, twelve arrows for his enemies