Hey Gunthr,
Folks who never worked in emergency services just can’t understand the dark humor we use. If you said that to me at the station, I’d pull out my knife and tell you to lean over. However, in this setting, Gunthr is found guilty of Rule #6.
10 Emergency Services Rules
1. Skin signs tell all.
2. Sick people don't squeak.
3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing.
4. About 70% of the battery patients more than likely deserved it.
5. The more equipment you see on an EMTs belt, the newer they are. The more patches someone has on their jacket, the fewer actual patients they have ever seen. If they have instructor rockers, they have NEVER seen a real patient.
6. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
7. All bleeding stops.... Eventually.
8. All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.
9. If the child is quiet, be scared.
10. Never trust (fill in the blank) to be fully stocked. If you don't have it improvise (improvisation is the mother of invention)
11. Rookies always look for large things in the smallest compartments and vice versa.
12. If the patient is going to vomit aim them on the person you like least.
13. Sick people only call because they couldn't get into their car. They apologize for bothering you when you have sick people to see. Be scared when you see these people.
14. When a pregnant woman says, "The baby is coming", you damn well better believe her.
15. When a patient says, "I think I am going to die" he is probably right.
16. There are more than ten rules.
After 20 years in Emergency Services, Gunthr has witnessed more suffering, sadness and stress than anyone should. Is it any wonder that the career life expectancy of most emergency service workers is less than ten years?
