Author Topic: 40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:  (Read 352 times)

Offline mason22

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« on: July 18, 2002, 12:55:42 PM »
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

Offline midnight Target

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2002, 05:58:32 PM »
05. I don't have a favorite college team.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Eagler? Hblair?

Offline Kieran

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2002, 07:00:19 PM »
.00  Pass the soap. ;)

Offline Eagler

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2002, 07:20:45 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
05. I don't have a favorite college team.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Eagler? Hblair?




lol


41. Honey, don't forget to floss :)
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Offline loser

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2002, 01:59:13 AM »
42:

no! i have had too many beers to operate a chainsaw!

Offline steely07

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2002, 03:32:52 AM »
:55 "Pass the nikon son i'm-a-gonna snap me a picher of that purdy deer"
:)
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Offline SirLoin

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2002, 06:25:18 AM »
"Thank you for the offer but I don't drink beer."
**JOKER'S JOKERS**

Offline Curval

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2002, 07:21:37 AM »
"09  Checkmate"...LOL:D
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Offline Shuckins

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2002, 12:04:31 PM »
...be careful of that hijacker...he's got a box cutter!


Shuckins

Offline myelo

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2002, 12:27:03 PM »
"How do you drive this thing?"

"Dolly Parton doesn't know how to dress. And her boobs are just too big."

"I have to hurry and pick up the kids at soccer practice.”

“Can I get that broiled, instead of fried?”

"That space is too small -- I'll never be able to back a trailer in there."

"Let’s rent Smokey and the Bandit. I haven't seen that one."

“That belt buckle is too big.”

“Let’s see, which of my radio buttons is set to NPR?”

“Honey, you can’t wear cowboy boots with a bathing suit.”

"I don't care if they raise the taxes on alcohol and tobacco. It won't affect me."

"Nah, I'll just sit while they play the national anthem."
myelo
Bastard coated bastard, with a creamy bastard filling

Offline MrBill

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40 things you will NEVER hear a Redneck Say:
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2002, 12:27:17 PM »
Darn Honey, I think your boobs are to big. :D
We do not stop playing because we grow old
We grow old because we stop playing