Appears link is dead.
Dunno how many newbies are familiar with The Book of Dweeb, but it was outstanding reading material!
Here's a AH link for a BoD
http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/Forum1/HTML/003832.html Ya can't post to that thread due to it's old UBB format so here are the pertainent<SP?> posts from that topic. ENJOY!
milnko
posted 06-12-2000 12:44 PM
A Psalm of Milenko
Kurt Tank is my shepherd, I shall not want;
he maketh me a FW 190A8 to JABO down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters; he restores my K/D ratio.
He leads me in paths of BOOM-N-ZOOM for his name's sake.
Yea, though I FLY through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for
thou ALTITUDE art with me, thy BMW 801d and thy MG 151's, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a VULCHFEST before me in the presence of my enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil, yet my BMW 801d runneth still.
Surely, ACES HIGH and The ASSASSINS, shall follow me all the days of my life; and I
shall dwell in the house of the BUTCHER-BIRD forever!
Ghosth
posted 06-12-2000 03:51 PM
"Verily in the year before the Millenium it came to pass that the Gods didst not see eye to eye. A great falling out between the gods didst happen. Many perhaps were the causes, yea, much gnashing of teeth and tearing of rament was heard. AGW was filled with attacks & counter attacks. Thunder & lightning filled the Unfriendly Skies (tm) and it was not good.
It came to pass that the Great Lord HT did release Warbirds to a destroyer greater even than BillGatesebub to be known as iEN. Much doom was fortold, and much doom has come true. The dweebs didst shudder & quake with fear.
And in time it came to pass that even those who worked for the corporate bosses in
the Hot Lands didst come to the point where they said no more. These were the rifts
that have devided the once united into three. And the Three shall never more be ONE!
As the Gods have been split into three, so also did the dweebs cast about. Some into
one camp didst leave with much shakeing of dust, and many angry posts. Others stand
fast and point to WB III ever on the horizon.
iEN which tho it art spelled with but a small I is really about the BIG I,fussed much and
accomplished little in the comeing year. Verily they give little yet prattle on about the heavenly WB III. Truly nothing seems sacred or holy to them, and they even didst
have the gall to force connect via the iLZ foulness. Verily these were the darkest of
dark days when friend turned against friend.
HT & Pyro, whom it seemed had forsaken us all, didst at last unveil their master plan. With just 5 others HT worked long and hard. Great magicks didst they call down, long and hard did they labour, Nay STILL labour.
Aces High didst they call it, and build it well they did. Though incompletith it was, yeah, still some say is. Yet it gave the dweebs much that they had cried for in the old days.
Open beta arrived with a thunderclap and a flourish. Flat rate priceing they proclaimed,
and the Millenium was ushered in with fanfair and dreams of new flight models.
Still I have notyet spoken of the 3rd, those who were told they musteth pick up all
they had and move to the tarheel country. They who rightously rose up and said
nayeth to the iEN.
Many moons have they labored also, many have been those who can be found in their camp. Yet still they have not controled the magic, nor released even a beta. Yet the hopes of many dweebs follow this star. Great promises have they made, and much talk of war in all it's shapes.
Three are the great stars in the heavens, and their number is three. Three are the boards where the devout gather to talk. Each sayith they follow the one true faith.
Yet each is but a part of what once was.
Many are those who still pay by the hour, and do cast covetous glances at the heavens. Yet stubborn are they also, determined to see the promised land of WB III.
Verily they say they are just as many as they ever were. Yet I must beg of them one
question. On thy honor, where haveth thine VETS gone?
Many are there also who revel in the new world created. Forsooth the grass is greener
on the other side. The hills lush and sweet. Clouds dost drift hitther & yon and it is
good. Many have come here from the OLD wars of AW, verily from all walks of life do
they come in never ending stream to partake of 2 weeks of bliss!
Here may be found more old vets in one place than any have seen before. As as wouldst be expected, every hair is split thrice & thrice again. Yet the shadow remains in the deepest corners. What of Playnet, what magics do the rats do in their secret caves.
Yet the faithfull followers of HT and his band are rewarded often for thy faith. Many
features are released, yea even tanks doth now crawl upon the ground. Even now they wait for the latest improvments promised by pyro.
Truly, the once promised STRAT doth exist, and grows ever stonger. New planes with new attributes are delivered often.
Many times hast I cast the runes of fortune, yet unclear the path yet lies. Enough verily to put away such worries for the time. Enjoy ever sunrise and sunset, throw caution to the winds and enjoy today. For truly, who knows what the morrow brings, feast or famine.
jedi
posted 06-13-2000 11:37 AM
Yea, clearly doth the Tribe of Dweeb splitteth asunder and multiply-eth. Indeed, too much there ist for but a single lowly angel to covereth. And shall it be good? Even the Godz knoweth not.
But once again hath it been proveth: Tho some art Vets, All art Dweebish.
hblair
posted 06-13-2000 11:47 AM
And Lo, I say unto thee, smite thee spitfire and thee F4U from all corners of the earth
and sky, and send them to dwell with the evil one.
Ghosth
posted 06-13-2000 03:26 PM
Originally posted by jedi:
But once again hath it been proveth: Tho some art Vets, All art Dweebish.
Hear these words of the Godz all ye and remember them well! Verily Jedi
doest speaketh truth straight from the holy scripture!
milnko
posted 06-13-2000 04:50 PM
Originally posted by Lizard3:
[A Psalm of Milenko
Yea, though I FLY through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for thou ALTITUDE art with me, thy BMW 801d and thy MG 151's, they comfort me.]
Need some King James Revisionism here: Ifin yer flyin through da valley, clip a shadow, ya aint got NO ALTITUDE and ya better
start prayin fer some real ARTistick flyun skeels cause them mean mofo's in da valley goona be eatin yer 6 fer lunch.
Oh ye of little faith, doest thou not knowest that The Valley of the Shadow of Death
is but a deep chasm?
Verily, I say unto thee that it be thine DEEPEST Valley.
Doest thou thinkest I would bloweth all my "E"?
Hast thou never felt the hand of Kurt Tank resting upon thine shoulder?
Hast thou never felt the WURGER's Lightning Bolt?
Ye blasphemy against what ye know not, and although I forgivest thee forthwith, for
Kurt Tank I speakth not for.
As punishment may thou be consigned to the deepest pits of AH, and there find
only thine GOONEY-BIRD to wingeth.
To redeem thyself chant this psalm:
To thee, O BUTCHERBIRD, I lift up mine eyes.
O mine FW 190 in thee I trust, let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies have altitude and vulch over me.
Yea, let none be vulched that be Rooks; let only them be vulched whoest are wantonly chute-shooters and ditchers (and CAPped field spawners).
Maketh me know thine ways, O Kurt Tank; teach me thy paths.
Leadth me in thy BOOM-N-ZOOM, and teach me, for thou art the saver of my K/D ratio.
Helpth me to be mindful of mine 6, and also of the foul and evil P-51 for it hast been created in the evil one's likeness.
Remember not the sins of my TURN-N-BURN or of my transgressions of grabbing a DWEEBFIRE! <amen>
Mr.ED
posted 06-14-2000 06:50 PM
Hey this is a good forum, and all good posts, lets see if I can change that!
Revelation 6,7
Then the lamb broke open the fourth seal; and I heard the fourth living creature
say "come"
I looked, and there was a pale-colored horse, it's rider was named Death, and
hades followed close behind. They were given authority over one fourth of the earth, to kill by means of war.
There is nothing paler than the cold shinny steel of a P-51D. I bet you didn't
know Death's wingman had the handle of Hades!
milnko
posted 06-16-2000 12:45 PM
Chapter 16, verse 10
"And the fifth WURGER poured out his MG 151 upon the seat of the RUNSTANG;
And his cockpit was full of darkness, and the RUNSTANG gnawed thier tongues for pain.
And blasphemed the FW-190.
And repented not thier deeds."
Ghosth
posted 06-16-2000 10:03 PM
Revelation to Pyro
I am the Alpha and the Omega Sayeth HiTech, who is and who was and who is to come.
In the right hand of Hitech is a scroll written within and on the backeth. Sealed with seven seals it is and containeth it all flight and gunnery data within. Yay, even pertaining to roll & turn data.
Guarding this scroll is Pyro who proclaimeth with loud voice. "Who is worth to open
the scroll and break it's seals?
Who here is so undweeblike so as to be worthy?" And no one in Aces High, none
who flew above it, nay nor crawled upon
it's terrain, nor flew long bomber missions was worthy.
Then Saw who is also known as Saintaw spoketh.
"Weep not, lo the CO of the squadron of JG2 must surely be a vet and above
all possible dweebishness.
Let Ripsnort open the sacred scroll and it's seven seals. For Ripsnort hath surely all of the planes, and understandeth them.'
'Verily he hast not begrudged flying the goon for capture."
And between the Rolling Terrain (TM) and the Clouds in the sky I saw a C- 47 flying
without wings, as though it had been shot down in flames yet still didst it flyeth.
And when Rip hath taken the scroll from the goonie the three countries didst cease their furballing, yea, all didst RTB.
All the Squadron CO's (Which art as elders to us dweebish brethren) knelt and chanted.
'Worthy thou art to take the scroll and to open it's seals. For thou hast been here since Beta, and thy squadron multiplieth beyond counting.'
Now when Rip opened one of the seals, & I heard Natedog sayeth "COME!".
And I saw and behold, a white Pony, and it's pilot had 6 .50's and a helmet was given to him, he went out killing and to kill.
And I heard Superfly say "Come!", and out came the N1K2-j with the red meatball on it's side. Its pilot was permitted to take peace from the earth. So that all should die in the HO he gave it 4 20 mm.
And when Rip hath opened the third seal I heard Yankee say "Come!" and behold the 109 cometh forth and the CO's chanted. Boometh thou may, and zoometh mightily, but never shall thou turnesth, nay not even a little.
When Rip opened the 4th seal behold a plae horse, and it's riders name was Death. And HO's followed it, and they were give power over all lower than themselves for verily this was the F4u-C and it could kill with 4 fingers of god Hispano's, with large ammo supply.
Now when rip opened the 5th seal I saw those slain for their lack of dweebishness,
verily almost vets hath they been, and ambushed because others dost fear their skill. They cried out with loud voice,
" O Lord HiTech how long before thou wilt judge and avenge our deaths on those who fly above the earth?" Then they were each given a new 190 and told to wait a bit longer. Until the number of their fellow 190 drivers should be complete. Those who were to be killed as they themselves had been killed.
When Rip opened the 6th Seal I looked, and behold there was a great earthquake.
The sun became hid by clouds, and the full
moon red as blood. And the stars of the sky fell to the earth and became dweebfires, both V & IX. The sky vanished like a scroll that is rolled up.
And every mountain and hill was removed, and the land was flat.
Then the multitude of players from Warbirds that had not switched hid in the dirt, and rocks, and trees. Fall on us and buryeth us in the ground they pleaded, for we hast been fooled by talk of WB 3.0 and art dweebs.
Then I saw Natedog, Superfly, Yankee and Pyro standing at the 4 corners of the terrain.
Holding back the 4 winds that no wind shouldst blow on earth, or sea, or sky. Then I saw Ronni ascending to HiTech, saying do no harm unti we hath checked the passwords of the faithful. And I heard the number of those with paying accounts and tho large it was still more there were who hath flown the 2 weeks free yet not joined.
When Rip opened the 7th seal there was silence in heaven for about 5 minutes, and
the radio buffer was empty.
Then there came forth a C.205 with desert camo on it's wings. Fast it was, yet
it turneth on a dime. Quick it's climb,yet faster yet it's dive, and controlable throughout. Only 2 20mm didst it carry and
2 machineguns but lo, much ammo didst it and far would it fly on 75% gas. And the smart old pilots climbed high with it and fell on the spitdweebs, and niki's. Dove on the pony's and hawgs. Truly here was death for all dweebs for he who wouldst learn to fly to his planes strength.
At this point Rips wife walked in & roused him out of his drunken stupor saying
"Dammit get off that computer and take us
camping!" For truly it beith friday and I want to blow this town!
Verily In the words of Jedi "Though some art vets, all art dweebish" she whined.
jedi
posted 12-27-2000 11:53 AM
Hehe there's another topic around here somewhere with some good AH "Book of Latter
Day Dweebs" epistles.
Verrily, Ghosth appeareth to be somewhat more qualified to scribeth the tomes of the
Ostwind Dweebs and Chog Dweebs than I, however Alas, my sense of humor hath been strained mightily and, lo, perhaps even smiteth hath it been by the sundry shenanigans and signs and portents of the past year or two.
Knoweth I not when the pen wilt yet again quivereth in mine palsied hand...
