The One True Cool Flight Sim Religion
Are you as sick and tired of reading the flames? Tired of paging through tons of rhetoric Flight sims looking for simple answers? Tired of the guilt and the uncertainy? Angry?
Let's all take a break.
. Let's call it "Aces High"
#1 - Authority
I must be recognized as the leaders of Aces High. Everyone must listen to my rhetoric and not question my leadership. Solution: I have talked to Aces High God, and he has appointed me the Supreme Ace. I have written down everything He said in the sacred scriptures which I keep and update from time to time. I will occasionally publish parts of the scriptures, and I will interpret them for you, (this stuff can get pretty complicated, and I wouldn't want you to bruise your brain thinking about it too hard.)
#2 - Solidarity
Followers must not question the legitimacy of Aces High. Solution: Aces High God has told me that Aces High is the one true path to eternal happiness. All other flight sims are the work of the devil, and it is forbidden to even THINK about those other flight sims. Aces High members are required to spend time walking the streets of their cities, recruiting new members, seeking donations, passing out literature, Flying their favorite planes.
#3 - Longevity
We need lots and lots of followers, both now and in the future. Solution: The scriptures say that Aces High members should have lots of children who must attend Aces High Sunday-school to learn the rules of Aces High. Those children will someday have many children, who will have many children, etc. We've got a perpetual motion machine going here.
#4 - Money
It takes money to keep Aces High going, not to mention the paperwork of printing brochures, books and new versions. Solution: The traditional 10 percent (tithe) should be a good start, plus we'll have occasional "special collections" for: computers, building funds, school projects, computers, satellite channel rental, travel requirements, meetings, more servers and the poor. Cash is preferred, however checks, stocks, bonds,alcohol, jewelry and bullion will be accepted. Compared to the riches which await you in Aces High, worldly goods mean nothing. (However, I can put it to good use promoting Aces High.)
#5 - Theology
OK, we need a purpose in life. Solution: The purpose in life is to have everlasting happiness in Aces High for all eternity. How do we get there? By following the rules of Aces High, by sending money to Aces High, and by promoting Aces High to everyone else on the face of the earth. It is especially important to recruit disillusioned members of other Flight sims ( "insert flight sim here "are preferred, they'll believe anything) especially teenagers with new, shiny cars and good credit ratings.
#6 - Reinforcement
Aces High members must be reassured that they have found the ONE TRUE path to everlasting happiness. Therefore, Aces High members are required to attend Aces High services at least once per week, more often is good. Services will consist of: 1) Aces High members congratulating each other in having found the one true Flight sim, 2) Aces High members describing how much better life is after joining Aces High and how evil non-Aces High people are, 3) Sim hq will describe all the evils in the world (see any .com front page), 4) Aces High will warn Flight sim followers that the only ticket to everlasting Flight sim salvation is through Aces High, 5)Aces High will tell followers that their seat in the main arena and BBS will be much more plush if they recruit new cool members, 6) members will fly cool planes, toss up Salutes and pass "bullits" while dropping lots of cash on Aces High (money will only be used to promote Aces High and save the souls of the heathen Flight sim population).
Why wait. Get started today. Send cash. You will be rewarded in Aces High for all eternity. I promise. Let's all get out there and start converting those Flight sim heathens
