Lighten Up!

[Eagler]

Why Dogs are better than Wives
1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
7. A dog's parents never visit.
8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
12. Dogs can't talk.
13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a day.
15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
16. Dogs like to go hunting.
17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get another dog?"
20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.
21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just think it's interesting.
25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman- Marcus.
30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff

[Eagler]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
 
  Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half
  discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
 
  Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well
  developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
 
  Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot,
  relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
 
  Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently
  aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
 
  Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia, lost
  the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now
  necessary.
 
  Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide
  and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
 
  Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with
  a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
 
  After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone
  knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
 
  THE GEOGRAPHY OF MAN
 
  Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a
  dick.

[Wanker]

[Chaos68]

ROFL!

the dog one is so true!

[AKDejaVu]

Why women are better than dogs:

1. Sex

Its OK to love your dog... but not to LOVE your dog.

AKDejaVu

[rogwar]

A bi Brazilian hotty with a typical Brazilian bunda whos father owns a liquor store.

[XNachoX]

There you go.

[rogwar]

Originally posted by XNachoX
There you go.

Can someone check her ID? I feel like a Dirty Old Man and I'm just 37.

[Morgoth]

I used to work in a liquor store and had to check IDs all the time. She looks 18 to me

[ZeroPing]

Thats nachos daughter.. she is only 14

[senna]

Off on a tangent here but...

>I used to work in a liquor store and had to check IDs all the
>time. She looks 18 to me

So did I, used to work at a liquor store when I was a teen. Most depressing situation and job I had ever had. Had to watch the same people come in day to day or whatever there alcoholic state was and buy liquor. There is a difference between an alcoholic and a regular person. The challenging part was memorizing all of the prices of all of the booze in the store. The scary part was that you could have a gun in your face on any given weekend with all that cash around and a history of being robbed twice already (I wasnt there when it happened though).

[Morgoth]

Very true. I've worked some toejamty jobs but the most depressing one was in the liquor store. People were identified by brand names:

"Here comes the House of Stewart squeak. Can't believe she already polished off the 1/2 gallon she bought yesterday."

Very frustrating for a pro-legalization of pot guy like myself to watch a state-sanctioned booze enterprise enable people to kill themselves oh so slowly everyday.

On the other hand, working in that hole helped me get my first computer job. One of the frequent boozers that came in owned a tech company. I always made a point of leaving computer books and magazines all over my counter. After several months and a few conversations, he hired me to admin his network. Schwing!

[Udie]

Originally posted by Morgoth
Very true. I've worked some toejamty jobs but the most depressing one was in the liquor store. People were identified by brand names:

"Here comes the House of Stewart squeak. Can't believe she already polished off the 1/2 gallon she bought yesterday."

Very frustrating for a pro-legalization of pot guy like myself to watch a state-sanctioned booze enterprise enable people to kill themselves oh so slowly everyday.

On the other hand, working in that hole helped me get my first computer job. One of the frequent boozers that came in owned a tech company. I always made a point of leaving computer books and magazines all over my counter. After several months and a few conversations, he hired me to admin his network. Schwing!

 The day you got that job was a good day for the 900th

[Morgoth]

Hehe, I was a heart muncher long before I was actually getting paid to play around with computers. In fact one of the conversations I had with my boss-to-be was about WarBirds and my love of the Ensign Eliminator

[AKDejaVu]

LOL! This thread is one hell of a windy road.  What was the original post about again? (no fair peaking).

AKDejaVu